Should I Stay
by valforeverblue
Summary: So many years have passed since she was left behind with a clone of the man she loved. Desperate to return home, Rose Tyler was ready to do whatever it takes to make that happen. But something unexpected happens. She suddenly finds herself back in her own universe on a beach that resembles the very one she was visiting. And there, standing a short distance from her, was the Doctor.
1. Remembering Him

**Author's Note: **This is my very first Doctor Who fanfic. I've read so many wonderful stories that I decided to try my hand at it. And of course it had to be a reunion fic because I am a Doctor/Rose fan. Always will be. The song that was the inspiration for this is 'Should I Stay' by Gabrielle, which is the same as the title. It was playing on repeat as I typed up this first chapter and some of the lyrics even made its way into the story. This will not be a long one since I'm new to writing Doctor Who. Just a chance for me to see if I can do it. There will only be about 14 or 15 chapters and I've already typed up the first 12. Story takes place during the episode 'Dinosaurs on a Spaceship'.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who. If I did then somehow, someway Rose Tyler would still be with the Doctor in the TARDIS traveling the stars.

**Summary:** So many years have passed since she was left behind with a clone of the man she loved. Desperate to return home, Rose Tyler was ready to do whatever it takes to make that happen. But something unexpected happens. She suddenly finds herself back in her own universe on a beach that resembles the very one she was visiting. And there, standing a short distance from her, was the Doctor.

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**Chapter 1: Remembering Him **

Nothing but the sounds of the ocean waves greeted the woman as she climbed out of a decrepit light blue truck. The sky was filled with dark angry clouds making everything around her look gray and bleak. Strong winds whipped around her long dark-blonde hair, obscuring her view as she walked along the damp sanded path. Though, she didn't need to see anything. The area was nothing more than a flat stretch of land and Rose Tyler knew the grounds like the back of her hand. Much of her time was spent here, on this beach, at the spot, where an old blue box once stood. How could she not know this place? It was here that she last saw _him_.

Since that day many years have passed. Long lonely years; yet she remembered their time together as vividly as though they had just happened. They were burned in her memory. Was it because she couldn't let them go? Or, was it because they served as a reminder of how she was abandoned? Whatever the reason, they continued to plague her thoughts; which was why she was here today, on this beach, when she shouldn't be. It was too opened of an area for somebody who lived on the run. She could easily be seen. Still, here she was and as she looked around, Rose couldn't find it in herself to care. No matter how dangerous it was.

But then again, nobody knew the importance this place held in her heart. Nobody but her family that is, and they were all long gone. Taken from her so soon after she had finally accepted her new life. Rose felt the familiar pang at the thought of her mum, her brother Tony, Pete and the man who never had the chance to really live. Quickly she pushed it down. Now wasn't the time to think of them. No, today was about remembering _him_ and allowing the pain to run rampant so she could do what needed to be done without emotions getting in the way. Her plan to return back to her own universe was very risky. She only had one chance and Rose mustn't mess it up, so she had to do it; she had to think of him.

The Doctor.

At that thought, Rose lowered her body to the sand and pulled her legs up against her chest. Wrapping her arms around them, she rested her chin on her knees and stared out at the ocean as the waves rolled in. The sound was soothing. With a sigh, she took a deep breath and did what she needed to do. One by one, memories began flooding her mind. Riding along were the feelings that always accompanied them; pain, loss, betrayal and even hatred. Rose fought back the desperate urge to push them back to the far recess of her mind. Instead she closed her eyes and decided to pull out a memory that didn't cause her much pain.

A time when her Doctor had dark cropped hair and intense gray-blue eyes; who had grabbed her hand and rescued her from stored shop dummies. The man who wasn't conventionally handsome yet she couldn't help feel attracted to. She missed her first Doctor; the one who was hard-ridden, having been born from fire caused by the blood and battle of the Time War. Rose wondered if she would've been where she was now if he hadn't regenerated into the man who would one day abandon her so easily. Thinking about what ifs was futile. It happened and there wasn't anything she could do to change that. And even if there were, Rose wouldn't, because despite everything, she didn't regret meeting the Doctor.

How could she when he showed her the universe. Rose had never felt more alive than she did when she traveled with the Doctor. After all the places he had showed her and seeing that there was so much more out there, how could she go back to the life she once knew? Returning to where she was nothing more than a shop girl was something she couldn't do. No, she could never regret meeting the Doctor. What she did regret was thinking that what they had, was something special. Rose shook her head as she remembered all the time she wasted waiting for signs that he loved her as much as she loved him. Oh, he cared. That much she was certain of.

_Here I am waiting for a sign  
__I never seem to know if you want me in your life_

It was just always unclear whether he wanted her in his life in the long run or if she was just another name on his long list of companions to help fill his lonely existence. There were many moments the Doctor would say or do things that had her believing that maybe, just maybe, there _was_ something there. Like the long gazes they shared, the way their hands constantly came together and the time she asked him if he was going to abandon her as he did Sarah Jane and he told her he wouldn't do that to her. The way the Doctor responded and the look in his eyes had Rose believing she was different and it made her heart soar. Then Madame De Pompadour happened shattering that belief.

_Where do I stand, I just don't know  
__I never feel I know you 'cause you blow hot and you blow cold_

Despite the emotional roller coaster she was riding on, Rose had refused to get off. The Doctor and the world he lived in became her everything. There was never any other choice for her to make. So she managed all the ups and downs, pains and sorrows and all those sharp turns. Through the good and bad she remained firmly at his side; unable to do anything else. It didn't matter that she would grow old, wither and die while he continued to live on. All that mattered was being with the Doctor and living the rest of her life with her hand intertwined in his as they traveled the stars together.

_It seems I've grown attached  
__Though we're not the perfect match  
__I just can't explain._

After becoming trapped in the parallel world the first time, Rose worked exhaustively, day and night, to find a way back to the Doctor. She refused to accept that that was their end. Her mum thought she was crazy and urged her to move on. Pete did all he could to block her from working on the Dimension Cannon's. Surprisingly, it was Mickey who was the supportive one. He understood and helped whenever he could. Without him, Jake or her little brother Tony, Rose didn't know how she would've coped. Her spirit started plummeting when all her efforts were unsuccessful. Then the stars began disappearing and the walls between universes had weakened.

Suddenly she was able to jump from parallel to parallel without collapsing the universes. And that was what Rose did. She continuously jumped until she landed in hers then set off to find the Doctor. When she finally found him; saw the way his eyes lit up when he saw her, she felt whole again. Only their reunion was halted when he was shot by a Dalek before they could even reach each other. That was the beginning of the end for them. _No_, she thought, as she angrily swiped away the tears trickling down her cheeks. It began much sooner than that. The day the Doctor met Professor River Song.

That was when Rose truly lost him. Once the woman whispered the Time Lord's true name, he was no longer hers. _Was he ever really_; she wondered? Returning to him may have meant everything to her but for the Doctor it was burdensome. He knew one day he would meet the woman who was to become his wife and when that day came, there would be the question of what to do with Rose. Being shot by that Dalek was the answer the Doctor needed, because in pouring his regenerative energy into that glass jar containing his hand, the meta-crisis was born and he was able to pawn her off on him.

_Should I stay, should I go?_

The weeks following the day the Doctor left her on Bad Wolf Bay were a blur for Rose. Most of it was spent crying in her room. When her mum continued to barge in and try to talk her out of it, she resorted to locking the door. Then the clone, bearing the Doctor's face, began visiting. He chatted away about whatever came to mind. So much like the Doctor. The first time he appeared, he told her the name he chose for himself. Jonathan Noble, to honor Donna; Rose ended up calling him Jon. The second time he told her he accepted Pete's offer to join Torchwood. Eventually she began holding up her own end of their conversations. Then one day she woke up and felt it was time to try and move on.

_Could I ever really stand to let you go?_

But before Rose could do that she needed to say goodbye to her past. So the next day she readied herself, packed a bag and drove out to Darlig Ulv-Stranden. There, she planned on having one last cry; one last day to mourn before returning to Jon and keeping the promise she once made to her leather-jacket wearing Doctor to live a fantastic life. In the same spot Rose sat in now, she sat in back then and replayed memories after memories as she cried her heart out. Over her gut wrenching sobs, she didn't hear the sounds of somebody joining her until a string of explicit swearing in a language not of earth exploded by her side. Jon had figured out where she had disappeared to.

He stood there, looking down at her with eyes filled with anger, frustration and hurt. She knew what he was thinking, that she would never give him a chance. How wrong he was. But before Rose could explain, he began speaking. And what he said shattered her heart. He told her what really happened on Satellite Five; what she did to the Daleks, how Jack was now immortal because of her and why the Doctor regenerated. Then Jon told her about meeting Professor River Song and how she knew his true name. Something he never even told Rose; something he would only tell his wife.

"That's why the Doctor left you here with me in Pete's World. He knew one day he would meet the woman he'd fall in love with and marry. With her by his side, there was no place for you in his life."

_Can you not find the right words to say;  
that maybe I'm getting in your way?_

Numbness was all she felt after Jon left her there and returned home. Rose thought she knew pain before, but it was nothing compared to what she was feeling at that moment. Once again she began crying; only they were tears of anger. Rose felt like a fool for ever thinking she was anything more to the Doctor then a companion. Right then and there she buried her feelings for the Time Lord. When all her tears had dried up, Rose left Bad Wolf Bay with a vow to devote her life to Jon. And for a brief time life was good, until it all went to hell; reminding her again that life doesn't always pan out the way you planned.

Rose shook her head free from the past and with a sigh, stretched out her legs. _It truly is beautiful here_, she thought as she stared out at the water. It was too bad the beach held so many painful memories. It would've been nice to actually enjoy her time here instead of always being in a state of sorrow. A strong gust of wind blew and out of instinct, Rose folded her arms across her chest as if to hold the cold out. The temperature had dropped considerably but she couldn't feel it. She no longer felt the cold or heat; one of many things that had changed about her since the day she discovered she was now different.

But if that were the case, then why was she shivering as though she were cold? Why was she burrowing herself deeper inside her leather jacket as though she wanted to get lost in it? The hairs on the back of her neck prickled and an uneasy feeling settled in her stomach. Rose learned not to ignore those feelings. It has saved her many times before. Immediately she lifted her head and looked around to make sure she wasn't being watched. Her scan of the area showed she was still very much alone and she didn't feel like there was anybody around. If that were true, then why did she have the sudden urge to run and hide?

Her uneasiness intensified.

Rose frantically jumped to her feet and once again scanned the area. They must have found her. That was the only explanation she could come up with. She knew it was a huge risk coming here; a place so out and opened, but she was sure Bad Wolf Bay was a well guarded secret. How could they have found out about it? Rose wasn't followed. She was sure of that. _But what if I was?_ The thought brought a pang to her heart at the thought of never stepping foot on this beach again. The place may bring her nothing but sadness but she still loved it. It was all Rose had in this world. Without it, she didn't know how she would survive should she be unsuccessful in making it back to her own universe.

All of a sudden Rose could feel pressure building inside her, trying to rise to the surface. It was unnerving, but not as much as when she felt her body being tugged by some unseen force. Immediately her combative skills kicked in and her body took on a defensive stance. But how does she fight something she couldn't see? Rose took a step back and the tugging sensation disappeared. A few seconds later she felt it again. Whatever it was, it was following her. Testing this theory, she took a few steps back and the same thing happened. She had no idea what was going on but what Rose did know, whatever was happening, it had to be of alien nature.

What Rose didn't know was if she was the intended target or chosen, seeing as she was the only one in the vicinity. Whatever the answer, one thing was certain; she wasn't going to stick around to find out because if it is alien, then Torchwood would be arriving soon. Armed at that thought, she set off at a fast pace towards her truck. A couple of steps away from reaching it, there was a sound that had her halting immediately. It was a song; one that was familiar. A haunting melody she hadn't heard in a very long time. It was beautiful just as she remembered. Hearing it brought a smile to her face and tears to her eyes. Warmth spread throughout her body erasing any fears she may have had.

It didn't take Rose long to realize the music she was hearing was coming from within her mind. The sound triggered her consciousness and long hidden memories played out. Everything Jon told her she did on Satellite Five she now remembered. Without a doubt she knew what it was she was hearing. The song of the TARDIS. The same melody she heard when she looked into her heart. _But it couldn't _be, Rose thought. She didn't hear the grinding sounds of the engine or feel the heat from the glow of her key that she still wore on a chain around her neck. Yet, that didn't stop her from looking around for the familiar blue box.

Seeing nothing brought disappointment. For a brief moment Rose was hopeful. So sure she would soon have a way back to her own universe without going through her plan; something that was very risky and something she knew would surely upset the Doctor should he ever hear of it. But it was her only choice and it wasn't like he was doing anything from his side to help bring her back. If Rose wasn't careful, if things didn't go accordingly, then she could cause more damage or alter a fixed point in time. Regardless of how much she wanted to return home, she didn't want to do that. She didn't want universes collapsing or Reapers flying around.

The melody began to alarmingly increase in volume until it was the only sound she could hear. No longer did she found it soothing. Should it be that loud? Rose fell to her knees, covering her ears as though that could drown out the sound. She didn't know how long she remained that way when the pressure inside her, that had been slowly building, felt like it now wanted to claw its way out. Then she felt the tugging sensation again. Only this time it was stronger; so much so that Rose began crying and trembling in fear. It felt as though she was being pulled apart. Heat began to course throughout her body. It was excruciating.

With a thud, she dropped forward into the sand, rolling to one side as she whimpered in pain. Rose wanted nothing more but for it to stop. Removing her hands from over her ears, she brought them down to clutch at her stomach when it lurched violently but immediately stilled when she saw them. Golden light was swirling around them. Just the way it does when her body was healing itself from a fatal injury. But she wasn't dying and the glow was never this bright. So, what was happening to her? It was hard to concentrate on anything but the intensifying pain and soon it all became too much.

The last thing Rose felt was the sensation of being lifted then nothing as she succumbed to darkness.

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**Author's Note:** Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed. A reminder, the song used in this chapter is 'Should I Stay' by Gabrielle. If you haven't heard it, it is one I highly recommend you listen to. Chapter 2 will be posted soon.


	2. Shimmers of Gold

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed and saved this story to favorites. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

* * *

**Chapter 2: Shimmers of Gold**

One second Rory Williams was standing aboard a spaceship where dinosaurs were freely roaming around and the next, he found himself standing outside, in the cold, on a beach. Beside him stood his father and the Doctor looking just as baffled as he did. A scan of the area showed Rory nothing that would help determine where they were and how they even got here. Despite the dilemma he suddenly found himself in, he's thankful the Doctor was with him. That pretty much guaranteed Rory would make it back to the ship where Amy was surely waiting to wring his and the Doctor's neck for disappearing the way they did.

Not like he had a choice in the matter.

"We're outside. We're on a beach," his father stated the obvious. Rory knew how unhappy the man had to be right about now. Brian Williams may have taken everything rather well up to this point but traveling and his father didn't exactly go hand in hand.

"Teleport!" the Doctor shouted in irritation; his hands tugging fistfuls of his hair. "Oh, I hate teleports. Must have activated on my voice." That would explain how they got here. Now if they could just figure out the where part.

It was a relief to see the Doctor acting his usual self. For a minute there, while they were still aboard the spaceship, Rory was concerned when he saw the emotions that had flickered across the Time Lord's face when he turned on the computer. It was a look of shock, disbelief and a hint of fear. Looking at the screen, Rory saw nothing that would've warranted such a reaction. There was nothing on it but the schematics of the ship with the words Bad Wolf across the top. A quick shake of his head and the Doctor went back to what he was doing. A few words later and suddenly they were here on this beach.

"Ah, yes, well, thank you, Arthur C. Clarke!" Rory stood beside the Doctor just staring at his father as the man erupted in a fit of anger. "Teleport, obviously, I mean, we're on a spaceship, with dinosaurs, why wouldn't there be a teleport? In fact why don't we just teleport now?!" Both men watched as he stalked off angrily.

The Doctor turned to him. "Is he alright?"

"No, he hates traveling. Makes him anxious," Rory answered. "He only goes to the paper shop and golf."

"What did you bring him for?" Rory stared at the Doctor in annoyed irritation.

"I didn't!" he protested in frustration then quickly gave up, knowing he was just wasting his breath. "Why can't you just phone ahead, like any normal person?"

Maybe then they wouldn't be dealing with a not-so-happy Brian Williams. It wasn't Rory who had materialized the TARDIS around them with his father there. The Time Lord didn't look up to greet them or bother even asking if they wanted to go. Just began smacking that gob of his and set off. Does the Doctor think he and Amy just sit around twiddling their thumbs waiting for his next visit? They have a life they've built together that included family, friends and work. One day the Time Lord was going to have to remember that.

His father walked back up to them. "Can somebody tell me where we are, _now_?"

Rory watched as the Doctor stuck his tongue out, testing the atmosphere. "Well, it's not Earth. Doesn't taste right, too metallic." His brows furrowed as he frowned. Again he stuck his tongue back out. Suddenly his entire body goes rigid. "Impossible," the Doctor breathed out then reached for his sonic screwdriver and juts it in the air. Whatever the results read had him frantically looking around. Rory knew it meant something was most likely about to happen; whether it was good or bad remained to be seen.

"What are you looking for?" his father asked at the same time as Rory asked, "What is it?" He assumed the Doctor was onto something; hopefully a way to get them back aboard the ship.

It's no surprise their questions are met with silence. The Doctor tended not to say anything until he was good and ready, if even at all. That always annoyed the hell out of his wife. Rory had to admit it bothered him too, but not as much as it did Amy. While he waited, he began inspecting the area himself in hopes of discovering the answer on his own. The beach was a flat stretch of land with a wall of cliff behind them. Other than the gray overcast and the rolling waves, there's nothing that was catching his attention. At least nothing that was noticeable. Still, the Doctor continued scrambling around in search of something.

He can see it was making his father nervous. Not him so much. This was behavior he's used to. Rory was about to assure his father that everything was okay. Tell him how adventures with the Doctor are always filled with the weird and the unknown but that no matter how dangerous it might get, things do tend to get resolved. And once they were squared away, they'd return home. But before he could open his mouth to say any of these things, an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. And seeing how further agitated the Doctor was acting wasn't helping. Assuring his father was no longer on Rory's mind since he wasn't sure he believed it himself.

"What is _that_?" his father asked, looking at something over his shoulder. Rory turned to see what it was that caught his attention. What he saw had him flabbergasted.

Rory had no clue. He would've turned and asked the Doctor but he didn't want to look away. A little down the ways from where they stood, shimmers of gold light had appeared hovering quite a few feet above the sand. Slowly it was forming and elongating as it begun taking shape. What it was, Rory couldn't say. All he could do was stand there and watch with wide eyes. Soon other colors began peeking through the gold glow; blue, white and black. The more it formed the quicker Rory was able to figure out what it was he was seeing.

"Why, it's a woman," his father voiced in disbelief.

Indeed it was a woman.

He can see the blue were jeans form fitted to a nicely shaped body. Not that he would repeat that to Amy when he retold this story. His wife has a quick temper and a hard right hook. No, he will keep that remark to himself. More like forget he even thought of it in the first place. The black was a waist-length leather jacket, the white was her top and on her feet she wore a pair of worn boots. He was surprised she wasn't dangling. Instead one arm was across her stomach, the other over her head. As for her legs, they were slightly lifted and angled towards him. It looked as though she were lying on a flat surface.

Dark blonde hair could now be seen through the golden glow. Oddly, that hung midair suggesting its length was long. Not quite like Amy's, but close enough. As for the women's face, that he couldn't see. It was turned away from him. To Rory, the position she was sprawled in looked pretty uncomfortable. Suddenly the light flared brightly. It had him and his father turning away for a brief moment until they saw it had dimmed back down. Gradually the light began to fade until the woman was no longer glowing. Briefly she hung suspended in air before falling to the ground with a solid thud.

Immediately Rory's mind goes into nursing mode and he rushed over to the woman's side. He saw she had hit her head, hard, and wasn't moving. _Not that she had moved once during that whole appearing act_. Dropping to his knees, he gently straightened her arms, legs and head so that her body was in a more comfortable position. Rory sighed in relief when he saw she was breathing steadily. A quick examination of her head reveals no bumps or blood. That was good news. What concerned him, the women seemed to be out cold; something that obviously had nothing to do with the fall. Whatever was going on with her was beyond his help. This was more the Doctor's area of specialty.

"Is she okay?" his father asked.

"She doesn't appear to have any injuries."

"Where do you think she came from?"

"I don't know," Rory answered honestly.

_Where did the woman come from?_

"A better, question is how she's even here," His father continued. "Have you ever seen anything like that?"

"No," Rory lied. When in truth he had.

It looked like the same shimmering gold that glowed around the Doctor and River when they regenerated. Except the woman lying out in front of him wasn't a Time Lord, _Lady_, he quickly corrected himself. She only had one heart beat; he had already checked. Looking down at her face, he saw tear streaks lined down her cheeks. _What had brought the women to tears_, he wondered. Was it pain, sorrow or possibly both? Clearly she was young. If Rory had to guess he would say early twenties; just out of her teens. She was also pretty. He took in her features, smooth skin, full lips and long lashes; ones that suddenly began fluttering. A sure sign she was starting to come around.

Rory quickly straightened so he was no longer hovering. Not only did he not want to frighten her but he was also being cautious. The women may look harmless but he knew appearances can be deceiving and he'd seen too much to let his guard down. She began to move around. Rory heard her groan then watched as her eyes slowly began drifting open. A pair of warm brown eyes with flecks of gold in them stared up at him; first in confusion then in wariness. He conveys his friendliness with a smile, hoping it eased her.

"Hello," He said softly so not to startle her. "You had a bit of a fall. Do you feel any pain, anywhere at all?" When she didn't answer right away he added, "I'm a nurse."

"No," she answered verbally, and with a shake of her head.

He noticed her eyes travel up and to the side of him. "This is my father Brian Williams."

"Nice to meet ya' sweetheart." Sadness crossed her face at his father's greeting. Rory wondered about that.

"Hello," she greeted him then sits up; a little too fast judging by the expression on her face and the way she clutched her head.

"Whoa, take it easy there," he encouraged as he helped steady her. "You fell so you shouldn't be so quick to move."

"I'll be fine. I've been through worse," She assured him. "Just give me a bit, yeah."

"Take the time you need… and I'm Rory Williams by the way."

"Hello." She smiled but didn't introduce herself.

Rory gave it a moment, thinking she was slow to respond because she was disoriented from the knock on her head. The seconds ticked and she still hadn't said anything. Was it deliberate? Based on the way she was avoiding his eyes he had to say it was. Why? It wasn't like he knew her. Who was she? She didn't look familiar. He brushed those questions back so that he could assist her when he saw her rising to her feet in case she gets dizzy again. She didn't need to fall over and bump her head a second time.

Rory wondered if she was an alien and if so, where she was from.

She may look human but the Doctor did as well so that wasn't saying much. That gave him pause. Speaking of the Time Lord, the man sure had been quiet through all this. That was rare for him. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't even rushed over to inspect this sudden mystery. Very unlike him. Was the Doctor even still with them? Rory hoped he was. The last thing he needed was to be left alone trying to find a way back to the ship with his agitated father and an alien woman who was refusing to give her name and had somehow appeared from out of thin air.

"Thank you," she offered Rory once she was steady on her feet.

"No problem," he returned with a nod of his head.

He watched as she dusted off the sand that had gotten on her jeans and leather jacket. Once she straightened herself, she smiled at him. Her eyes shifted and suddenly her entire body goes completely still as she stared at something over his shoulder. Her smile faded and a look of shock filled the woman's eyes. Curious, Rory turned around and saw nothing but the Doctor still standing in the same spot he was before. Except on his face was the same shocked look.

"Rose?" the Doctor whispered. His tone laced with disbelief, and, _was that a hint of longing?_

Suddenly that uneasy feeling Rory felt, returned tenfold.

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**Author's Note:** Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed. Chapter 3 will be posted soon.


	3. A Reunion of Sorts

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. The Doctor and Rose are about to have their first interaction. Hope it doesn't disappoint and that the Doctor isn't too OOC. It's my first time writing him and it really wasn't easy so I have to give kudos to all the writers who have.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

* * *

**Chapter 3: A Reunion of Sorts **

The first thing Rose felt was a cool breeze hitting her face as she scrambled out from the darkness she was engulfed in. The second were a couple of presences. Two males she quickly realized. Both had soothing tones and sounded as though they were hovering over her. Next she felt a pair of hands running along the back and sides of her head. Despite the gentleness of it, Rose felt a moment of panic. Had she been captured? Was that the uneasy feeling she had felt earlier? Did Torchwood finally succeed in imprisoning her again after all these years?

Her heart began pounding in fear.

But, if that truly were the case, then the hands on her would've been rough. Not gentle. Torchwood has wanted to get their hands back on Rose for a very long time. They wouldn't be so nice. So it wasn't them. When she tried to move, pain exploded in her head. She couldn't hold back the groan. Once it had dulled some she slowly opened her eyes and found herself staring up into a surprisingly pair of friendly ones. No, she quickly deduced, she hadn't been captured. Still, Rose didn't know who the man was and she was not taking any chances; especially when she saw the second, older man standing over her.

Though both men didn't seem to be dangerous, she learned a long time ago to be cautious. Rose had been burned before. Trust was a luxury she couldn't afford. The men introduced themselves as Brian and Rory Williams; father and son. She could see the resemblance. Their relationship had her thinking of her own mum and how much she missed her. Rory was the one who took charge while his father stood back, with his hands inside his pockets. It may have something to do with him being a nurse, but she felt comfortable with the younger man. She could sense he was good at what he does by the kindness etched in his face.

Rose wondered how long she was out. She knew she was alone before blacking out. And she remembered the excruciating pain that had coursed through her body, the golden shimmer that glowed around her hands and the melody that played inside her head; the one still faintly humming. She was relieved it was once again welcoming. Realizing she was still lying on her back, Rose bolted up into a sitting position and instantly regretted it. Everything around her began spinning. Clearly she shouldn't have done that. Rory had the same thought since he encouraged her to take it easy. So she sat there a few moments longer until she no longer felt dizzy and could stand.

With Rory's help, she was able to rise to her feet. She could sense his curiosity. No doubt it had to do with her refusal to offer up her name. It wasn't something she could give them. If they did work for Torchwood then there was a chance they'd recognize it. _Can't have that._ Protocol would be followed and then they'd take her in. Not that she would give them a chance to detain her. Rose hadn't survived all these years without being captured without a reason. Still, she didn't want to hurt Rory or his father. Apparently they had no clue who she was and she intended to keep it that way. Once she was through dusting the sand off her clothes, she would thank them for their kindness and be on her way before they had any chance at finding out.

With a fake smile plastered, she straightened herself and faced father and son, but before she could get the words 'thank you' out, movement from behind Rory caught her attention. There, just up ahead, stood a third man staring at her with a shocked expression. He had a flop of brown hair that swooped over his forehead. He wore black trousers that were too short for his legs; a pair of black ankle-length boots filled the space his pants didn't. A brown tweed jacket lay opened over a light blue buttoned-down shirt with a maroon colored bow tie adorned around his neck. His cheekbones were high and his skin looked naturally pale. But none of this was what captured Rose's attention.

What did were the man's eyes.

They were timeless - ancient looking.

And suddenly she knew who he was. The Doctor. Her body froze, her smile fell and she imagined she was staring back at him with the same shocked expression he wore. Rose's entire body began trembling and it had nothing to do with the cold winds that were blowing. _He regenerated, _was the first though that entered her mind. That saddened her. She wondered how it happened. Was he alone? Or was somebody else there, another woman who stood back and watched as he disappeared in a burst of light right before their eyes. Was this person still traveling with the Doctor? Was it her hand he now held?

He looked much younger than his tenth incarnation. Still handsome though; in an odd sort of way. Rose had a feeling he always would be. At least to her.

"Rose?" the unfamiliar voice called out. She felt a pang that never again would she hear the familiar one of her pin-striped, suit-wearing Doctor. "How…?" the question confused her.

'How' was what Rose was wondering herself. Why he was asking her she didn't know. How was he here without the universes collapsing? Why was he here? Was he here for her? His expression told her that wasn't the case. So, what was he doing here then? Was there trouble happening? Did it have something to do with what happened to her earlier? Was that why Rose heard the familiar song of the TARDIS? Was she close by? Rose didn't recall hearing the sounds of the ship materializing, and from her peripheral, she didn't see it anywhere. It wasn't something she could miss. The blue box would stand out.

So the question remained, what was going on?

Then it hit her; it really hit her.

The Doctor was here, in Pete's World. That meant Rose would soon be back in her own universe, safe from Torchwood, where she wouldn't have to look over her shoulders ever again. She wanted to holler out in joy. Laugh with relief. She did neither. Because she remembered why she was stuck here in the first place. Anger and pain swiftly took the place of her happiness. Rose wanted to lash out, break down and cry. The emotions swirling inside were strong. Somehow she was able to rein them in. To help keep them contained, she turned away, breaking their gaze but remained rooted in her spot. She instead fixed her eyes on the water and watched as the waves rolled in.

What she saw brought a frown to her face. It didn't look the same. Glancing around Rose realized that none of the beach looked right. Sure, the area was a flat stretch of land and there was a wall of cliff towered behind her, but it wasn't the same. Frantically her head swiveled around when she noticed the absence of her truck. _Where am I?_ Rose had assumed the Doctor had traveled to Pete's World, but now she was thinking she was the one who had done the traveling. But how? Rory's words 'you had a bit of a fall' and 'you fell so you shouldn't be so quick to move' replayed in her mind.

Did that mean she was back in her own universe?

Out of confusion she ran both hands down her face. Rose was about to begin pacing, something that helped her think, when she saw the Doctor began walking towards her. A twinge of panic set in. In reflex she took a step back. She wasn't ready for this; not in the slightest. She needed time to prepare herself, muster up enough courage to face him; to steel her heart and plant a mask of indifference on her face. Not stand in front of him with her emotions bare for him to see. When his steps didn't falter or slow Rose turned and did what the Doctor always does when trying to avoid something; she ran.

Except in her haste to get away, she stupidly ran straight ahead towards the cliff wall. Definitely not one of her brighter moments. The Doctor had given chase immediately. Hearing him call her name told her he was right behind her. Rose stopped, she knew she wasn't going to get far. With a sigh she lowered her head but kept her back to him. She needed a few moments to gather herself together. When she turned around to face him she was ready; at least Rose thought she was, until she realized just how close he was. Her breath caught in her throat.

_I can do this. _

"Hello Doctor," she greeted casually as though not much time had passed since they last saw each other. Inwardly she grimaced at how hard it was to get the words out. Hating the weakness she was feeling, Rose swallowed down her emotions, squared her shoulders and with determination, lifted her head.

"Rose Tyler," the Doctor's voice was soft and laced with tenderness, "Is it really you?" Hearing it had her wanting to forget how he had abandoned her and have the reunion she always imagined they would. But that couldn't happen. No matter how much she wanted it. Best to keep things impersonal.

"Unless there's a clone of me," she trailed off and grimaced at her poor choice of words. The Doctor didn't seem to have caught what she said. He was too busy studying her, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You were glowing in gold light."

That surprised her. Rose knew she was before blacking out. Apparently she still was when she got here. _However that happened._ "I didn't notice. You know, me being out cold and all."

"Last time that happened, you had the entire vortex running through your mind."

"Memory's a bit hazy of that time."

"Had to take it out or you would've burn."

"Is this going somewhere?"

"Thing is," he continued on, ignoring her, "if I'd taken it all out, then why are you swimming in Huon particles?"

"Have no idea what you're talking about."

"Either, particles remained inside you or someone's been dousing you with it; which is extremely dangerous. Deadly even. So it's very important you tell me if anybody's been giving you something to drink, eat or take on a daily basis."

"Nope." She popped the 'p' in the same manner as his previous self. Rose hoped her nonchalant response was enough to hide the nervousness she felt with how close to the truth he was.

He looked perplexed by this. "I don't understand."

"Makes two of us then," Rose responded flippantly.

"Then how is it you're here?"

"Don't know."

"Did you use the dimension cannons again?"

"No."

"Were you working on anything at Torchwood, or perhaps they were?"

"Was nowhere near them." And if she were she would've been locked up and strapped to a metal table.

"Any suspicion looking objects around you?"

"Nope." She popped the 'p' again.

"What was the last thing you remembered before waking?"

"Blacking out."

The Doctor gritted his teeth. Rose knew she was frustrating him by being vague with her answers. That and the fact that she wasn't being very forthcoming with details; ones that would help him figure out the mystery of how she had gotten here. It might have been childish of her to do, but it made her feel good to throw him off his game. Something she never been able to do.

"Where were you at?" Now that question gave her pause. The Doctor was pleased by that, he was smirking smugly.

Oh how she itched to slap that look off his face. She was ready to show him that her mum wasn't the only Tyler who could give a good slap. Rose fists her hands to prevent them from doing just that. Instead, she glared and replied, "I was about to get in my car _aaand_," she dragged out when his mouth opened to interrupt, "I was completely alone," she added, knowing what his next question was going to be.

The Doctor's face fell. She flashed him one of her own smug smirks.

It was the Doctor's turn to glare at her. Rose ignored it and smiled. Not the genuine kind that she used to beam just for him; no, the fake one that held no emotion. Seeing it did not bode well with him. His eyes darkened. Was it wrong a tremor of thrill shot through her at that? Rose pretended she wasn't aware of how upset he was with her. In all honesty, she didn't understand why the need to keep silent about what had occurred before somehow appearing here. Maybe it was the anger she still felt from his abandonment or maybe it was simply because she no longer trusted him.

How could she after everything Jon told her?

The Doctor took a step forward, suddenly standing in her breathing space, "Why are you being so evasive?"

He was stepping up the game.

Definitely not what she was expecting.

Rose tilted her head to the side; she could play too, "I don't know what you mean."

He took another step and leaned in. Other than tilting her head back a bit more to remain in eye contact, Rose remained unmoved; though it took a lot of will power not to react to his nearness. "Do you _really_ think you can keep secrets from me?"

_Oh_, _he's different_.

When his previous self was angry he ranted and raved letting the entire universe know just how unhappy he was. This new one seemed to have a rein on his temper. She couldn't help but wonder just how far she could push him before cracking that facade he now wore. Well, if the Doctor thinks he can intimidate her, then he had another thing coming. No longer was Rose Tyler that same naive human who mooned over the Time Lord. Her claws had been sharpened since he last saw her and it was time he knew that.

"And do you _really_ think if I had any secrets I would tell them to you?" The Doctor's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't expected that. _Check_. Followed by a flash of hurt when he understood what it implied. _And mate_.

The lines had been drawn.

What happens now, Rose didn't know. But she wasn't planning on sticking around long enough to find out. No matter how much she wanted to see how far things could go. Depending on where they were, she was going to ask the Doctor to drop her off in Cardiff or London. And hopefully after that they'd never had to see each other again.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Remember Rose is acting that way because Jon (the meta-crisis clone) made it seem the Doctor didn't want her in his life anymore. So I'm sorry if anybody was expecting some kind of happy reunion.

Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed. Chapter 4 will be posted soon.


	4. Hand in Hand

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

* * *

**Chapter 4: Hand in Hand**

How many longing looks had she and the Doctor shared?

Countless of them.

But never had they lasted this long or been this intense. Usually he was the first to look away. Much to her disappointment. But this time he wasn't budging and if this had been back then, Rose would've reveled in it. But that was the past, when things were different, and this was now. So she just needed to look away. Except she found she couldn't. No matter how hard she tried. It showed Rose how he could still affect her; which was disconcerting. After all this time, she thought she would've been stronger than that. Guess when it came to the Doctor, he would always be her weakness.

She frowned when the Doctor's expression suddenly changed. If possible, his stare became more intense, but in a non pleasurable way. It was as though he was trying to make sense of something. What, she didn't know. At least Rose thought she didn't. It took her a bit to realize what it was that had caught his attention. Her eyes widened. And instantly panic flared when it hit her just what it was the Doctor was close to figuring out. Quickly she lowered her head to the ground hoping her secret was still just that, a secret.

"Look at me please," Rose refused, even if it was asked politely. Instead she maneuvered around the Doctor where she was met with Rory and his father Brian, both who were watching and listening with apparent interest. The younger Williams had a bit more emotions swirling in his eyes. She sensed curiosity and uneasiness. She offered a small smile as she stepped passed them and continued back towards the shore line, "Don't walk away from me."

Rose froze at those words.

Another difference she was noticing about him. The Doctor used to avoid confrontation such as these; especially with her. Everything was always swept under the floor grating of the TARDIS. Why oh why was he choosing now to confront things when all she wanted him to do was ignore her and carry on with whatever it was he was doing before she arrived. Rose allowed anger to get the best of her. She turned around and gave him a cold hard glare.

"Why not? It's what I learned from you," she snapped out.

The Doctor looked taken aback by that.

"You know, once upon a time Rose Tyler," the Doctor began softly saying, "you would look at me as though I could do no wrong. Course that's rubbish. I'm over a thousand years old. Plenty of mistakes been made." He shortened the distance between them again, "There was nothing your warm brown eyes could hide from me. So expressive they always were. But never in all the times I stared into them had they looked at me with such contempt." Rose didn't really know what to say, "You're angry with me and I've no idea why."

"It's best to leave it that way," she said. Again their gazes locked and in her anger and confusion she forgot she was avoiding letting the Doctor look into her eyes. By the time she remembered, it was too late, he had already seen enough.

"No," he breathed out. "It can't be... but it's not possible."

Well, the secret was out.

The Doctor had noticed how Rose's eyes looked much too old then what they really should be. But if he thought she was going to open up to him just because he now knew then he had another thing coming. Besides, there was nothing that could be done about it. She no longer was aging as a human should be; something she came to terms with a long time ago. Worrying over it would just be a waste of time. Traces of the Huon particles, or Bad Wolf as Rose called it, had remained inside, lying dormant, until the day she had died. The pain she endured that night was something she doesn't like to remember.

Her lips twisted in wry humor. "Thought you'd have figured it out by now Doctor. When it comes to me, nothing's impossible."

Such an array of emotions was flickering across his face. What she wouldn't give to know what was going through his mind. Was he thinking back to that forever she'd promised him? That was the first thing Rose thought of when she discovered she would have a longer life span. Followed by the irony of it. Was it dawning on him just what it was he had done to her, leaving her behind in another universe to live a long life alone. How she would've had to watch his clone wither, grow old and die.

"Um, excuse me," Rory's voice startled the two. Rose turned to him, thankful for his interruption. "Hate to disrupt whatever," his hand waved between her and the Doctor, "_this_ is, but can it wait till a more appropriate time. Like when I am, _oh_ I don't know, back beside my wife who, I remind you Doctor, is still aboard the spaceship with dinosaurs on the loose."

Rose's brow rose at that. "Dinosaurs?" As if on cue, a loud screeching noise rang out above them. All four heads lifted up where they saw a large bird flying in the sky.

"Is that a Kestrel?" Brian asked.

"I do hope so," the Doctor responded with just a hint of nervousness. Rose hoped so too, but she had her doubts. When it came to traveling with the Doctor, always expect the unexpected. That bird, and she used the word loosely, was too far away and high up in the sky to really know for sure. But odds were it wasn't.

Rory, who had suddenly bent down to the sand while they all were observing the bird that might not be a Kestrel, announced, "The beach is humming."

"Is it?" the Doctor squatted and felt the ground for himself. A frown marred Rose's face. How was that even possible? "Oh yes," the Doctor blurts as he stood. "Right, well don't just stand there, you two dig," he indicated to the two men then brushed his hands together to rub off any sand off them. "I'm going to look at rocks," he now was facing Rose. "Love a rock," he said as he gave her a long look before walking off.

"Dig with what?" Rory hollered out to the Doctor's retreating form.

Rose ignored the two and watched as Brian pulled something out of the left pocket of his vest jacket. "Ah, well," the older man said as he held up the object. It's a collapsible trowel.

The look of disbelief on Rory's face as he watched his father squat down and began digging was amusing. It had her smile. "Did you just have that on you?" he asked him.

"Of course! What sort of a man doesn't carry a trowel?" Brian looked up at his son. "Put it on your Christmas list," then was back to digging in the sand.

Her smile widened in amusement.

Rory squatted down, "Dad, I'm 31. I don't have a Christmas list anymore."

"I do!" the Doctor exclaimed loudly from behind. Instinctively Rose turned and saw him with both arms waving high over his head. Rose couldn't help but giggle at his child-like behavior. His smile grew wider at the sound. "Now there's the smile I remember." Immediately she dropped her smile and turned away.

The sound of tapping on metal captured her attention. Averting her gaze downwards, she saw Brian had stopped digging, "There's a floor under this beach."

"Doctor!" Rory shouted out as he ran toward the man, his father trailing right behind.

Rose remained where she stood; looking down at the gray metal visible through the hole Brian had dug up. To say she was confused was an understatement. Though why she was in the first place was ridiculous; after all, she was with the Doctor. But still, how can metal be underneath a sanded beach. That was something she hadn't come across before. What was this place and how had she gotten here? If the beach was humming then did that mean they were standing on some kind of machine or worse, in something alive?

Whatever was going on, she knew the Doctor would figure it out. He always did. As for how she returned to her universe, that was a different story and she wasn't sure that mystery would be solved if Rose wasn't willing to reveal everything. And she wasn't ready to do that.

Trekking up the sand, Rose joined the others. The Doctor was running his hands along a section of the cliff rock as Rory and Brian watched him. She didn't alert them to her presence, which was hard to do when all she wanted was to join his side and help out like she used to. Instead she just stood there and let the Doctor do his thing, reminding herself that that was no longer her part to fill. Suddenly a section of the rock slid to the side revealing a computer screen. Another something she wasn't expecting. Rose's mouth dropped.

"See. Metal floor, screens in rocks. It was just a short-range teleport. We're still on the ship," the Doctor announced enthusiastically, shocking her even more.

_We're on a ship? _Rose knew Rory's wife was on one.

"No, we're outside on a beach," Brian's statement told Rose that the man must be new to this life.

"No, it's part of the ship Dad," Rory told his father; clearly a man who'd been at this awhile.

"Don't be ridiculous," Brian still refused to believe.

"Well, it is quite ridiculous, also brilliant," the Doctor stated, swinging his head back and forth between both men. "That's why the system teleported us here. I wanted the engines, this," he swung around and gestured towards the beach with wide open arms, "is the engine room. Hydro-generators. Ha."

_Blimey, where the hell am I?_

The Doctor noticed her standing there and the look on her face. He walked up to Rose and spoke to her in a low voice, "Clearly you're wondering how you got here." It was true but she wasn't going to admit to it, "I can help you Rose. But for me to do that you'll have to tell me everything." When she remained quiet he sighed and stepped away from her. The Doctor returned to his other companions and swung an arm around each, "Fabulously impossible. Oh, think of the things we could learn from this ship if we manage to stop it from being blown to pieces."

Wait! What?

There was also some kind of explosive device aboard?

Whatever was said next, Rose tuned out. She had a bad feeling and reflexively, turned around. Immediately her eyes focused on the sky where more birds had appeared. Only, they were much closer than before making it plain to see that she was right. They were definitely not Kestrel's; not even close. No, they were impossible things flying around on a spaceship filled with free roaming dinosaurs and had an engine room that looked like a beach that apparently could blow up at any moment.

Just another day in the Doctor's world.

The birds were screeching loudly and she knew the noise had to have caught the attention of the others. Brian's, "Oh, my Lord, are those pterodactyls?" confirmed that they had.

"Yes," the Doctor responded. "On any other occasion, I'd be thrilled; exposed on a beach, less than thrilled. We should be going." Rose swung around just in time to see the Doctor had dashed up to her. When his left hand reached out, she didn't hesitate. She grabbed hold and the two set off running, with Rory and Brian right behind.

And oh, how much she had missed this. Not the running – that was something she never stopped doing – but the running with _him_. And it was amazing and brilliant and fantastic! His hand was not molded in the same shape as the last one that held hers, it was unfamiliar. Yet, when she slipped her hand in it she found it still felt right. Just as it did with his last body and the one before that.

_Will it always feel right no matter what incarnation he was in? _

A deciding 'yes' echoed in her heart.

It didn't matter how she had gotten here or that numerous Pterodactyls were swooping down on them. All that mattered was the enjoyment Rose felt as adrenaline coursed through her veins, the way her heart was rapidly beating and the wide grins that were on both their faces as they ran hand in hand. For now she would allow herself to forget all the reasons why she was angry at the Doctor and no longer trusted him; forget that he was most likely a married man. And for this short time Rose would pretend that all was right as they ran along the cliff wall, hurdling over rocks.

It was foolish of her to do so and she knew she would regret it later, but until then she was going to enjoy every second, because it would be the last chance she could; the last time she will ever experience this with him. Once this adventure, this mystery of his, has been solved and the Doctor has saved them all, then Rose will say goodbye to the Time Lord because as much as it pained her, she knew this life was no longer hers. The Doctor had moved on. He now had other companions he traveled with and a wife he either had or hadn't met.

There was no place for her anymore.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay readers, the next chapter won't be posted until Monday. I've got a full schedule this weekend. For any football fans, enjoy Super Bowl Sunday. I know I will.

Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed.


	5. Uneasy Realizations

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. The response to this story so far has been a pleasant surprise. So I appreciate you all and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. So I came to realize that in Rose's dialogue, I hadn't been using her thick cockney accent. I've corrected that. Hope I did okay. In this chapter we are diving back into Rory's mind to get his thoughts and feelings on everything as he gets to know Rose a little bit more.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

* * *

**Chapter 5: Uneasy Realizations **

This adventure Rory has found himself on was proving to be an interesting one for many reasons. He thought dinosaurs on a spaceship would be the most fascinating thing he would be witnessing but that changed with the mysterious arrival of one Rose Tyler, the blonde woman who seemed to have some kind of history with the Doctor; one that looked like it hadn't ended well. Rory couldn't help but wonder what had happened there. More importantly he was very curious as to what the nature of their relationship was.

If Amy were here, he knew she would've flat out asked what was going on. She was never one to sit back and wait. Patience was not one of her virtues. Of course the Doctor wouldn't have answered. Knowing his wife, she then would've turned to Rose. Didn't matter if she didn't know the woman. Not that she'd get anything from her either. If she wasn't even willing to give her name then she wasn't going to tell Amy anything. Rory couldn't do that. He was the type to sit back and watch. He found you could learn more that way. So far what Rory had observed was that whatever happened between the two had hurt and angered Rose deeply.

Another thing he noticed; there was something about Rose that had shocked the Doctor. Whatever it was he'd seen had shaken the Time Lord. And, what it was, Rory did not know. Not like it was going to be shared with him either. But, by far, the one thing that really had him stumped was the way the Doctor rushed to Rose's side once the Pterodactyls began swarming around. It seemed he made that move without thought; just rushed over and held his hand out. And Rose instinctively grasped it, as though it was something the two had done countless of times before.

In all honesty, Rory wasn't sure how to feel about that, thoughts of his and Amy's daughter on his mind. The Doctor was married to River and though their marriage was done in an alternate timeline and was not one you would call traditional; it worked for them. At least that was what Rory thought. Looking at the couple running just ahead of him, he wasn't so sure about that now. Because he had never seen the Doctor look at his daughter the way he looked at Rose. And as much as he hated to admit it, the Time Lord looked at her in the same way as Rory knew he looked at Amy - with love.

So what did that mean for River?

An opening to a cave discovered by the Doctor was where they ended up seeking refuge from the swooping pterodactyls. The four of them barely had enough time to catch their breath when they suddenly heard loud thuds approaching and found themselves confronted by two yellow rustic robots. They led them down corridors, bickering like two dense children. Rory was relieved to see they were back inside the spaceship. Not that they had really left it. Along the way they encountered a Triceratops. One they discovered was playful after it had sniffed out the golf balls in his father's pant pockets. Something he was still shaking his head at.

The things his father carried around with him astounded Rory.

He couldn't wait to tell Amy about it and the comment 'only my balls' his father made when the Doctor asked if he had anything in his pockets. His wife was going to get a kick out of that. Once the balls had been thrown, the triceratops took off after them and they continued on their journey. Soon they arrived in front of a small gate entrance where the Doctor was the only one allowed entrance. The rest of them had no choice but to remain outside with the two robots, whom his father had began arguing with regarding their lack of manners. He and Rose chose to remain out of it; instead they leaned against the bars of the gate.

"How're you feeling?" Rory asked her out of concern. It wasn't long ago when she fell and hit her head on the sand covered metaled ground.

"A bit knackered, but m'fine."

"That's good. Not the knackered part, but the fine part," he corrected himself. "If you feel any pain, let me know."

"I will thanks," she said. "I'm Rose Tyler," she finally introduced herself. Though he now knew that.

"Nice to meet you; even under the circumstances."

Rose laughed. "Life with the Doctor."

"Tell me 'bout it," Rory agreed then took the opportunity that was presented to him. "You used to travel with him?"

"A long time ago," was her reply. "Take it you've been traveling with 'im too."

"Lately, not so much no. My wife was the first to travel with the Doctor. I just came along for the ride but now we've begun building a home life," Rory said as he shrugged, not wanting to say too much on the subject.

"And your father?" Rose looked at the man in question, who was pointing his finger, waving it back and forth between the robots. It was one Rory had seen many times before as a child whenever his father scolded him.

"His first time. The Doctor sort of materialized the TARDIS 'round us unexpectedly and before we could explain, we found ourselves here," he told her. It still amazed him how well his father was taking this all in, considering.

Rose laughed. "Sounds like somethin' the daft alien would do. He's the worse when it comes to meetin' the parents; especially the mothers." She crossed her arms and angled her body in his direction. "First time he met my mum she slapped him." Rory laughed. "Took me home for a quick pop in 'cept he got the date wrong."

"Not surprising," Rory commented with a snort.

"'Stead of twelve hours, it was twelve months," she continued. "The Doctor tried to help. Only made it worse, said he employed me as his companion."

Rory's eyes widened. "Yeah, definitely not helpful," he agreed.

"My mum started accusing him of pretending to be a Doctor to lure me away. When he insisted he was, she told him to prove it then slapped 'im." He and Rose laughed. "Eventually she accepted things. Didn't embrace it all, was always giving the Doctor a hard time; but it was just 'cos she worried about me. In her own way my mum cared 'bout the Doctor, she helped 'im in his times of need."

Rory took interest in that bit of news. "She sounds like an interesting woman."

"She was," Rose said with a faraway look.

"Was?" Rory regretted asking when he saw sadness fill her eyes.

"She died."

"I'm sorry," he murmured. She nodded. Rory decided to change the subject. "Did your father meet the Doctor?"

"Yeah." Rose hesitated before adding, "He died too."

"Sorry again," he offered, feeling like a complete heel bringing up painful memories for her.

"Been awhile, still miss 'em though."

"Course you do," he sympathized. "They were your family." Rory wondered if she had anybody in her life. He hoped so. It would be lonely being completely alone.

"Rose can I ask you something?'

"Sure."

"What kind of alien are you?"

The look she gave him was mixed with humor and something else he couldn't decipher. "I was born human."

"Wait, you're human!?" Definitely not what he was expecting.

"London to be exact; grew up on the Powell Estate." Rose shrugged. "Not the best of neighborhoods but it was home." He didn't know what to say. Rory was sure she was alien. This made the woman and the way she appeared from out of thin air that more mysterious.

"When did you meet the Doctor?"

"2005." It all wasn't adding up when you take into account her age, the year she began traveling with him and how she expressed it had been a long time since then. If she really was human than why did she look so young?

"You look confused," Rose said.

"I am confused," he admitted. "You appeared from out of thin air glowing gold light. Thought maybe you were like the Doctor."

"Not a Time Lord and I don't regenerate."

"You know about that then."

"Yeah. This current body isn' the same one I last saw. And that one wasn' the one I met either."

"So this is the third incarnation you've met of his." Rose nodded. There were so many more questions Rory wanted to ask but before he could ask anything else a man's voice boomed out from a speaker startling him and Rose.

"Injure the older one," the unknown man ordered. Rory glance over just in time to see one of the robots shoot his father in the arm. He fell to the ground.

"Dad. Dad," he called out, rushing over to the fallen man. "It's all right, Dad. It's okay. It's okay," Rory assured him as he squatted down and began assessing the wound.

"He'll be okay," Rose told him from over his shoulder. "Just a small bolt; obviously meant to threaten the Doctor. But he'll quickly learn the Doctor doesn' respond well to threats."

"No, he doesn't," Rory agreed then angrily turned on the robots. "I will take you apart cog by cog, and melt you down when all this is over," he threatened before turning his attention back onto his father. "Stay still. It's just a burn, it's nothing serious." Rory pulled out a med-pack from his pockets.

"What's that?" his father asked when he saw it.

"Well, you carry a trowel; I carry a med-pack." Rory gazed up at Rose. "It's all about the pockets in our family," he joked. This had her smiling. He turned back to his father. "This is an ice patch. It cools the skin."

"Never seem one of those."

"I look out for cool stuff wherever we go. Some people its cars and hardware, for me," he applied the patch to the wound on his left shoulder, "it is nursing supplies." His father moaned out in pain. "Now, pain killer." He held up a needle. "Now this won't hurt." Before his father could think about it, he jabbed it in his shoulder.

"Ow!" he hollered out in pain.

"I lied. It won't hurt from now on, though. All right. You're done." Rory was thankful it wasn't anything more serious.

"Thanks."

"It's all right. You get to see my awesome nursing skills in action for once," Rory told him. The sound of his phone ringing startled the two rustic tin cans. They began looking around, trying to find the source of the noise.

"What's that?" one of them inquired.

"Your phones ringing. In space," his father stated in surprise.

"Well, with a lil' jiggery pokery...," Rose trailed off when she noticed the looks he and his father were giving her. "Sorry, just a technical babble tha' came from my first Doctor." It sounded like something he would say.

Rory stood up and pulled out his phone. "You get used to it," he told his father. He then looked over at the robots and said, "I have to take this; the wife." He answered the phone, "Hello Mrs."

The sound of Amy's voice was welcoming and Rory couldn't wait to be back by her side; at the same time, he worried of how she was going to react to Rose's presence. Because it was a sure thing she was going to figure out, as he did, that the Doctor had some kind of shared history with the woman that went way beyond friendship. Everybody had a past, so the romantic aspect wasn't something that was going to upset her. What would infuriate his wife would be if she were to see what he saw earlier, the love that still shone through the Time Lord's eyes as he looked at Rose.

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**Author's Note:** Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed. Just giving you all a heads up that Chapter 6 might not be posted until Wednesday.


	6. Reminders of the Past

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. Were back with Rose in this chapter and she and the Doctor have a few interesting interactions in this one.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

* * *

**Chapter 6: Reminders of the Past**

The woman on the other end of that phone call with Rory was the one the Doctor was currently traveling off and on with and Rose found herself curious about her. She knew she wasn't the one who had replaced her. That honor belonged to Martha Jones, followed by Donna Noble. Still, she wondered if she was the one there with the Doctor when he regenerated into the form he was in now. Rose also wondered how long it had been for him since she and Jon were left on Bad Wolf Bay.

Though time moved faster in the parallel universe, she had a feeling that for her, it wasn't nearly as long as it was for him.

"Still on board," she heard Rory tell his wife. "Met some pterodactyls and some rusty robots that I'm going to _melt down_." Whatever she told him next had him rushing over to the gate. "Doctor," he called out, "Amy." He held the phone out.

Rose watched as the Doctor approached the gate and wondered who he was in there with and what was going on. It may no longer be her place, at his side, but she would be damned if she was just going to sit back and do nothing to help. Right now she knew the robots and the man in the room with the Doctor were one of the threats that were standing in their way from leaving this spaceship. Once she had a better assessment of the situation then Rose was going to plan a course of action because right now as it stood that was impossible to do seeing as how she had no idea where Rory's wife was.

"Amy," the Doctor's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. He walked away so Rose was unable to hear his side of the conversation. But whatever was said wasn't much for he had quickly returned and handed the phone back to Rory. Looking first at him then at her, he whispered, "Be ready." Rory nodded.

The Doctor turned to her, waiting for her acknowledgment. "Always have to be," Rose responded. Instantly she regretted it seeing the look that flared on the Time Lord's face. Somehow he knew she wasn't just talking about her times traveling with him. Rose lowered her gaze and silently chastised herself. "How many S'in there with you?" she asked, deflecting his attention off of her.

"Just an old crippled greedy man," the Doctor answered then walked away. One old injured man and two dense robots; so far the odds of getting out from under them wasn't looking so bad. Rose had been in worse.

Seeing Brian still sitting on the floor she leaned towards Rory and told him, "You should help your father up so tha' he's ready too."

"You're right," he agreed then did just that.

Soon they heard a gruff voice, "You won't profit from me, Doctor."

Turning around she saw the Doctor was standing at the gated entrance. "Don't ever judge me by your standards," he retorted. With his sonic screwdriver, which she saw the light was now green instead of blue, he opened the gate and rushed out. "Hey, he wants to see you," he told the robots. Then he grabbed her hand and the four of them took off running.

Back in the corridor they came across the Triceratops again. The Doctor skidded to a halt. He looked at it, then at her with a smile on his face and a look in his eyes. An expression she recognized; one that clearly stated he was about to do something insanely crazy. Rose bit her lip to keep herself from reacting. She always loved it when he was like this and regardless of the new form he was in, it looked like that hadn't changed. With a squeeze of her hand, the Doctor let go then took off running towards the dinosaur.

"What is he doing?" Brian asked, followed by Rory shouting, "Doctor, no."

Of course the Doctor ignored them. "Just do exactly as I do," he instructed over his shoulder. The three stood there with their mouth agape as he ran up stacked crates and leaped onto the Triceratops, hollering excitedly, "Geronimo!" Once he was settled he waved his arm for them to follow.

This time Rose was unable to hold back her smile. Her lips widened in glee as she set off running and bounding up the same crates until she too was leaping on behind him. Rory leaped next but before he could settle, the Doctor turned the upper half of his body and in a move that surprised the hell out of her, grasped her by the waist and lifted her up. Rose yelped in surprise as he swung her around until she was now seated in front of him with his arms wrapped around her waist. Immediately she stiffened, her heart beating rapidly. She closed her eyes and hated that all she wanted to do was lean her head back against his chest.

_Stupid traitorous body._

She felt the Doctor lean in. "Your face was the last one I saw before regenerating into this body," he whispered in her ear, sending delightful shivers throughout her body. They were waiting for Brian who was taking a bit longer getting on.

"How?" somehow she managed to get the question out.

"New Years. Months before we met. It was snowing and dark out, you thought I'd had too much to drink." Rose gasped as the memory flooded her mind. Back then she didn't recognize him because she had no idea who he was. Now, looking back, she could see it really was him as plain as day despite the darkened shadows he had hidden himself in. Tears welled as she realized she had mistaken his pain for drunkenness. "Do you remember that?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered.

His arms tightened. "You never strayed far from my thoughts Rose Tyler."

This Doctor, so far, was not shying away from her on anything.

All too soon the moment was over and the Doctor was shouting for the Triceratops to set off. Rose wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed. Red laser bolts whizzed by alerting them the robots had caught up. Yet, the dinosaur remained unmoved.

"How do you start a Triceratops?" he asked with frustration. As if any of them had ever ridden one before to know that. Sometimes the things that came out of the Doctor's mouth really astounded her.

And to think this was the Oncoming Storm; the last Time Lord feared by many.

It took Brian tossing his golf balls to get the dinosaur moving. Rose laughed as it gave way to the chase. Much like a dog. Behind her all three men were whooping and hollering out in their excitement. She had to admit this was the most fun she has had in such a long time. She felt light and carefree. For a moment she closed her eyes and just enjoyed it. The golf ball ricocheted off a wall and turned the corner, bounding them down yet another corridor. When they neared the end of it, she saw they were about to crash right into the wall. Rose grasped the Doctor's forearms, preparing for the impact while the others cried out in panic.

Luckily the Triceratops dug its legs and found a way to stop in time but the sudden jerk threw them all off its back. She was flung in the air where she landing on the hard concrete ground. That was the second time today. Feeling the achiness in her body, she wasn't fancying a third time. With a groan, Rose slowly rolled to her back and sat up where she saw the others were already to their feet. Including Brian. Normally she would've been quick to her feet too, but she felt a bit more tired than usual; no doubt it having something to do with how she had returned to her own universe.

The Doctor noticed she was still on the ground. He held his hand out. "You okay?" he asked as he helped Rose to her feet.

"'M fine."

The Doctor stared at her a few seconds longer, his eyes trailing down her body to assure himself she really was okay, before swinging around with a clap of his hands. "Okay," he began while looking around. "Where are we now?"

Rose spotted the computer screen. "Doctor," she called out. Before she could point it out he rushed up to her with a giddy smile on his face.

"Say it again," he asked, much to her confusion.

"Say what Doctor?"

"That," he sighed out.

"Huh?" Rose still wasn't following.

"It's been so very long since I heard you say my name." That wasn't true.

"No, I said it before," she reminded him.

"Yes you did," he agreed. "Twice in fact. The first, impersonal, the second laced with sarcasm. Very rude I might add. Nothing like the way you just said it now." Rose didn't quite know how to respond to that. When he leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers with his eyes closed, she found there was nothing she could do even if she wanted to. The moment was brief but profound. "Now, what were you're trying to tell me?" Wordlessly she pointed in the direction of the computer screens. "Ooh!" he exclaimed when he turned and saw it. Then skipped, _he actually skipped_, over to it proclaiming excitedly that there was an incoming message from Earth.

With a press to the screen, a woman, wearing a military uniform and a cap on her head bearing the initials ISA, appeared. She informed him that ships were coming through the atmosphere and that she would have to start the missile program. The Doctor tried to get her to give him more time but his pleads were futile. Their decision had been made.

"That's very bad indeed," the Doctor stated. He began pacing. "Completely unhelpful," he muttered.

"Doesn't this ship have any defense systems installed?" Rory, who was now standing in front of the screen, asked.

"Good thinking Rory," the Doctor praised as he rushed up to the man and kissed him on the mouth. Rose's eyes widened at that. _Jack Harkness anyone?_ "Computer, show us weapons and defense systems." 'NO SYSTEMS AVAILABLE' flashed on the screen. "Well that was a waste of time wasn't it?" The Doctor turned back towards Rory. "Getting my hopes up like that," he scolded as he repeatedly slapped him across both cheeks.

Rose covered her mouth with both hands to muffle her laughter.

"What ship doesn't have weapons?" Rory asked, baffled. _Good question. _

"The ancient species, Rory. Still full of hope." Sounded like the Doctor knew of the species that once inhabited this ship. What had happened to them?

"What about the control deck?" Brian asked. They all turned towards him. "You said we should go to the control deck next."

"It's too late, it won't make any difference," the Doctor replied as he paced towards the man then back.

"We could at least try," Rory told him, trying to remain optimistic.

"It won't work, Rory. The missiles are locked on."

"So, what? We're just giving up?" That wasn't something the Doctor would ever do. Abandon people, yes, but he would never give up.

"I don't know," he answered with a shake of his head. Sensing his agitation, Rose did something she didn't think she'd ever do again. She willingly went to him and took his hand in hers. Why she made the move, she didn't know. All she knew was how easy it was to do. How right it felt. His body immediately relaxed. Maybe that was why she did it. To help center him so he could solve this problem they all were in. The Doctor looked at her. "I don't know," he reiterated.

"Yes you do Doctor," she firmly replied. "You, giving up? Never!"

It seemed she was falling back into old familiar habits. She really needed to stop. It would just make it that much harder for her to leave when it was all over. Yet Rose found herself wanting nothing more than to run her fingers through his hair and sooth his worries away. And against her better judgment, she was prepared to do just that when there was a quick blinding flash of light preventing Rose from doing so. Looking over she saw an old frail looking man had appeared, with black walking canes attached to both wrists. The two robots standing slightly behind him; one flanked on each side.

"Solomon," the Doctor breathed out in annoyance. He let go of her hand and walked towards the man.

"You were telling the truth, Doctor," Solomon told him. "Earth has launched missiles. This vessel is too clumsy to outrun them, but I have my own ship."

"You won't get your precious cargo on board, though. It'll just be _you _and your metal tantrum machines," the Doctor goaded the man.

"We do not have tantrums," one of the robots replied indignantly.

"Shut up!" Solomon snapped. With the aid of his walking sticks, he staggered up to the Doctor. "You're right, Doctor. I can't keep the dinosaurs and live myself. But I had the IV system scan the entire ship and it found something even more valuable. Utterly unique. I don't know where you found it or how you got it here, but I want it."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Neither did she. Rory's wife was the only other person aboard the ship and she couldn't see him having an interest in her or anyone else for that matter; unless he was referring to the Doctor. If that was the case then Rose would have plenty to say about that – and none involved words.

Her body tensed, geared up in readiness to strike at any given moment.

"Earth Queen Nefertiti of Egypt." _What?!_ Did Rose just hear that right? Did he say Queen Nefertiti; as in the Great Royal Wife? "A face stamped across history," Solomon continued. "Give her to me and I'll let the rest of you live." Surely the man was wrong. Queen Nefertiti couldn't be here.

But the Doctor proved her wrong when he leaned in and uttered one word, "No."

Suddenly Rose's mind wandered back to another time when she was aboard another spaceship. Back when her hair was short, bleached blonde and the Doctor wore a pin-striped suit. She remembered the emotions that had stormed through her body as she watched the man she loved jump through the last time window to save the beautiful damsel in distress with no way back. A woman he had fallen for so very easily in such a short amount of time and one he was ready to pull out of her timeline despite her being an important historical figure, just so he could take her traveling with him.

Rose couldn't help but feel it was Madame De Pompadour all over again.

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**Author's Note:** Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed. Chapter 7 will be posted soon.


	7. Queen of a Rescue

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

* * *

**Chapter 7: Queen of a Rescue**

Rose couldn't help it. She erupted in manic laughter. All eyes swerved her way. No doubt wondering why she was acting like a complete nutter. She waved them off in a 'don't mind me' sort of manner and got lost back in her thoughts. So whatever Solomon or anybody else was saying, Rose was not hearing. Her mind was too wrapped up by the fact that Queen Nefertiti was here, somewhere aboard this spaceship. Something she really shouldn't be. It was too dangerous and she was much too important.

How long had she been traveling with him?

Was there anything romantic between them?

She knew she shouldn't care if there was. But she couldn't help how she felt. Just like Rose knew she had no right to let it bother her. After all, she wasn't the one the Doctor was or will be married to. That honor belonged to River Song. At that another thought popped in her head. Was she here too? Not once had Rose considered the Doctor's wife might be here as well. Could she actually face the woman who managed to tie down the last existing Time Lord? Not like she really had a choice in the matter if she were.

The TARDIS was her only way off of this ship and back to Earth. If River was here then Rose wasn't going to make any kind of scene; just ask the Doctor that he drop her off, and then he and his wife can dematerialize off in the sunset for all she cared. Sounded like a plan to her. But in order to do that, the man issuing out threats needed to be dealt with. Rose was going to be damned if she let him get in the way of that.

Assessing the current situation, she quickly concluded that the two robots were the real threats here. Both in which she could easily take care of. For when she returned to her universe, so did the object she carried on her everywhere she went. Rose had a Compact RKL Blaster tucked on the inside of her right boot; one that she could switch from stun to energy then adjust the settings to deliver a high enough voltage to take the two rustic metals out. But to reach it meant bending down and unfortunately she was in Solomon's line of sight.

Loud thuds from one of the robots moving brought Rose back to the here and now. She looked up just as it fired four shots at the Triceratops. The poor thing roared out in pain then fell to its side. The Doctor walked over and knelt beside the fallen dinosaur where he began stroking its head. Rose clenched her fists in anger but didn't allow it to get the best of her. Instead she took advantage of the distraction and reached down to retrieve her weapon while Solomon and the robots attentions were focused elsewhere. Rose quickly tucked it in the back of her jeans, hidden beneath her leather jacket.

Once the Triceratops stopped breathing the Doctor strode back, clapping slowly. "You must be very proud."

"Bring her to me. Or the robots will make their way through your corpses," Solomon threatened. "Bring her now."

"No," the Doctor refused. Before any other words could be said, there was another blinding flash of light from behind them all and three people suddenly appeared.

In the middle, stood a woman with long ginger hair, in her hands she carried a long gun. Most likely one that shoots out tranquilizers to use on the dinosaurs so that no harm could come to them. At least Rose assumed that it did. She didn't think the Doctor would suddenly allow his companions to carry weapons. He never liked them. It didn't escape her notice how the woman glanced curiously at her. Immediately she determined this had to be Amy, the other companion and Rory's wife.

Flanked to her left was a very attractive looking man. Rose's lips twitched in amusement as she took in his appearance. He was completely donned in clothing that resembled what one would wear when traveling on a safari. Even down to the wide brimmed hat he wore atop his head. The man kind of reminded her of the fictional character Indiana Jones. In his right hand he held the same rifle looking gun Amy was carrying.

Then there was the woman on Amy's right side who, without a doubt, was Queen Nefertiti. She was beautiful and regal looking just as Rose knew she would be, garbed in her Egyptian attire. The woman stood tall and proud even in the face of danger surrounded by people, artifacts and machinery not of her time.

"What are you doing?" the Doctor asked.

"I demanded to be brought here," Queen Nefertiti answered as she walked forward.

"No, no, no, no; no way!" He grabbed hold of her arm, stopping her from going further.

"It isn't your choice Doctor, it's mine."

"Listen to me, if you go with him, I can't guarantee your safety."

"You saved my people. I'm in your debt."

"No. No debts, you don't owe me anything."

She snatched her arm out from the Doctor's grip. "Then I do it of my own will," her voice was firm, strong. Her mind already made up.

"Neffy. Neffy. Neffy." Rose stiffened at that. _Neffy?_ _What is it with the Doctor shortening famous Queen names_, she wondered as she thought back to when he once told her and Mickey that he'd met Cleopatra, whom he called Cleo. Nefertiti ignored the Doctor and offered herself up to Solomon.

The Queen may have thought she was acting noble, sacrificing herself for the others, and if she were anybody else and Rose hadn't have already come up with a plan, she would've applauded the woman's bravery. But unfortunately it was an idiotic move. Because it now put her in harm's way which meant she couldn't take the shots she needed without endangering not only her life but that of history. She was getting a glimpse of what the Doctor must go through. Rose didn't envy him. Still, she wasn't going to give up. It just meant she needed a new plan.

Instantly her gaze fell on Indiana Jones; what Rose was going to call the safari dressed man until she learned what his name was. Positioning her body so that she was hidden behind Rory and Brian, she covertly waved her arm capturing his attention. Slowly she reached behind her back and lifted her jacket revealing to him her weapon. His brows shot up in surprise, followed by a smirk. Then to her annoyance his eyes trailed down her body.

_Really, he's checking me out now?! _

Indiana Jones ignored her glare and returned a subtle nod. Message received. Rose discreetly pointed to herself and mouthed the word 'robots' then she pointed to him and mouthed 'Queen'. Again he nodded in understanding. She flashed him three fingers letting him know they would move on the count of three. A final nod. The plan was set.

"No!" Indiana Jones called out as he sprinted closer to Solomon, cocking his gun and pointing it at him. Rose gaped at the man in disbelief. _What the hell was he doing?_ "Take her, I shoot you."

Queen Nefertiti held out an arm to keep him back. "Put your weapon down. Let me make my choice."

"Do it, boy," Solomon ordered. One of the robots stepped forward. Indiana Jones lowered his weapon then pulled his left hand behind his back and gave a 'thumbs' up. Rose then understood what it was the man had just done. He positioned himself closer to his target. She smiled in relief then refocused on the task as his fingers began the countdown.

_One._ She reached for her weapon and brought it forward.

_Two. _She adjusted the settings and gripped it in her hands.

_Three._ She pointed it at her target and squeezed the trigger.

With perfect aim, Rose fired the first two shots hitting her intended target; the robot closest. The second one only had a chance to turn its head before she shot two rounds in it as well. Before the first one could gather its bearings and react, she fired off more shots then turned and did the same to the other. Both robots fall backwards, bolts of electric running through their metal frames until smoke was rising and they were no longer moving. Targets were down. The move had distracted Solomon for the few seconds needed for Indiana Jones to do his part and reach for Queen Nefertiti, moving her out of harm's way.

He made a mistake though. When the Queen hollered out in anger, he turned his head in surprise leaving him vulnerable for the attack Solomon made on him. Rose heard somebody call out in warning as she rushed over to help. But it was too late. Indiana Jones was hit on the back of his head by one of the walking sticks. He went down leaving the Queen vulnerable. Solomon grabbed one of Nefertiti's arms. The Doctor grabbed the other.

"Computer, take us...," he began saying. Rose didn't let him finish that sentence.

A kick to the back of his weak legs was all it took for the man to lose his hold on the arm he was holding and fall to the ground with a startled cry. With Queen Nefertiti now safe and the robots eliminated, Solomon no longer had the power to threaten any of them anymore; unless he had others they weren't aware of. Rose hoped not. Judging by the look he was giving her, she was sure if that were the case, then he would be coming after her now that she was on the man's radar.

"Just who do you think you are?!" Rose's head snapped up in surprise as she was confronted by one very angry Queen.

"Excuse me." She narrowed her eyes.

"I had already made my choice. You had no right to interfere."

This was the thanks she was getting for saving her life? Rose stepped into the woman's personal space. "In Egypt you may be Queen, here you're not," her voice was low and threatening. "You best remember tha' before talkin' to me tha' way again." Their eyes locked, Rose refusing to submit and back down. Queen Nefertiti conceded when she lowered her gaze. Once the woman turned her back, Rose dropped to her knees beside her fallen accomplice. "Hey, you okay?"

The man was being assisted by Rory. "Hello," he replied instead of answering. "The names John Riddell." He held his hand out.

Rose rolled her eyes. First the Doctor was channeling Jack Harkness and now this man. She ignored him. "Better than wha' I was callin' you."

"And what might that have been?"

Rose smirked. "Indiana Jones." From behind she heard Amy snort in laughter. Beside her Rory coughed to disguise his.

"And who is this man?" She looked at him as though he were bonkers.

"Computer," Solomon's voice suddenly grabbed their attention, "take me to my ship." The man disappeared in a flash of light.

"Should we go after him?" Brian asked the Doctor.

"No reason to. He's no longer a threat."

Rose returned her attention back to the fallen man. "How could you not know who Indiana Jones is?"

"That would be 'cos he's from the early 20th Century," Amy answered.

She nodded in understanding. "Oh, then never mind." Rose looked down at Riddell. "Nice to meet ya'." She moved to stand up but he stopped her by grabbing hold of her hand.

"How about later on you and I get to know each other better."

Again Rose rolled her eyes, but before she could open her mouth to say 'thanks, but no thanks' the Doctor was there yanking her hand out of the man's grasp and to her feet. "That's quite enough Riddell," he told him. With his right hand he cupped her cheek; a little too tenderly for her comfort. "What were you thinking Rose?"

Her brows rose at that. "What was I thinking? I was thinkin' of saving Earth's history, that's wha'." She swatted his hand away and took a step back. "Question is Doctor, what the hell were you thinking bringing 'er here?" The Doctor looked surprised by her vehemence.

"She pushed her way inside the TARDIS," the Doctor argued. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Push 'er back out."

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing Rose."

"That's debatable Doctor."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Sometimes you think ya' know, but not really."

The Doctor grabbed her hand. "When did you stop trusting me Rose?"

"The day you abandoned me."

From behind she heard a gasp. "What is she talking about Doctor?" Amy asked him.

He ignored her. "Is that what you really think?"

"It's what I know," she answered honestly then moved as far away from him as she could.

Rose regretted attacking him about Queen Nefertiti. Yes, the Doctor took unnecessary risks, but he'd been doing it for so long, he knew what he was doing. She knew the reason she was acting this way was because she was comparing this to the Madame De Pompadour incident. Rose thought she was better than that. Before she could apologize or he could respond to her accusation, alarms began blaring diverting their attention as a computer voice repeatedly announced that a hostile target was in progress.

"What is it? What's happening?" Rory asked the Doctor.

"Bingo," was all he said. Then he clapped his hand. "Okay, everybody gather together." Rory helped Riddell to his feet. Once they all were huddled in a group the Doctor grasped her hand in his. "Computer, take us to…"

"Wait," Rose interrupted before he could finish that sentence, teleporting them all wherever it was he was trying to go. "Doctor, 'm a bit knackered. 'M gonna head to the TARDIS while you do wha' you need to do."

"No," the Doctor said as though she were asking his permission. And then he had the gall to reclaim her hand, in his tight grip. "Computer, take us to control deck," he said before she could tell him where he could stick his 'no' at.

Rose stood there fuming in anger as they were teleported out of the corridor they were standing in and into a small room covered with cobwebs and two piloting chairs where a small post was settled between them. She yanked her hand out from beneath his and turned to glare at him. He didn't acknowledge her. Instead just walked to where the post was and squatted down to remove the cap and peer inside.

"I'm gonna take position by the door in case anybody was wondering," Riddell announced to nobody in particular. Needing distance from the Doctor she moved to follow him but was stopped by a hand on her forearm.

"You're staying right here with me," the Doctor told her with an air of finality. Her eyes narrowed and her palm itched to make do with her earlier sentiment and give the Time Lord a hearty Tyler slap.

"You don' get to tell me wha' to do!" she snapped in return.

"In case you've forgotten Solomon is still out there," he returned. "And let's not forget the dinosaurs."

"I can take care of myself Doctor."

"Not saying you can't."

"Sure in hell sounds like it."

"Will you stop being so argumentative Rose and understand I'm doing this 'cos I just got you back." Rose opened her mouth to respond but was cut off when he reached out and placed one hand on her waist, the other on the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. He pulled her to him.

"Doctor," she tried to protest but again was cut off.

"No. I'm not gonna lose the woman I love, not again," the Doctor declared with determination.

Rose's head snapped up at that and she found all she could do was gasp in shock.

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**Author's Note:** Did the Doctor really just declare his love to Rose? Yes, yes he did. Did I just really end the chapter with that? Yes, yes I did. ;-D

Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed. Chapter 8 will be posted soon.


	8. Unanswered Questions

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. So I discovered that apparently I really am evil because in this chapter we will not be getting (A) into Rose's thoughts or (B) her response to the Doctor's confession of love. Instead we are jumping into Amy's POV because she has arrived and demands to be heard. Plus the conversation she had with her Raggedy Doctor in this episode helps sets things up perfectly for the next chapter.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

* * *

**Chapter 8: Unanswered Questions**

The first time Amy Pond Williams saw the blonde haired woman, she didn't think anything of it. She assumed she was somebody the Doctor, her husband and father-in-law had encountered along the way, therefore rendering her unimportant. Then her Raggedy Doctor became agitated and she watched as the woman walked up to him and took his hand. That touch alone was enough to relax his tensed body. Amy saw him turn his head towards her, whispering something she couldn't hear. The two knew each other.

And now she found herself very interested in this newcomer.

"Who is that woman?" Queen Nefertiti asked. _That's what I'd like to know._ It looked like she wasn't the only one to take notice of their rather intimate exchange.

"I don't know," Amy answered truthfully. She didn't know who that woman was or why she was here. But she was going to find out.

The arrival of an old man and two robots cut off any other thoughts or questions they may have had. Riddell inched closer to the monitor and the three of them watched as the events enfolded. They heard when the man demanded Queen Nefertiti be handed over to him, witnessed as the dinosaur was shot down and how the Doctor stroked its head until it was no longer moving. Then Amy watched in surprise as the unknown woman used that distraction to pull out a gun from within her right boot and tucked it in the back of her jeans.

Looking to each side of her, she saw she was the only one to take notice of that. Riddell's gaze was too focused on the fallen dinosaur and Nefertiti appeared to be lost in thought; unless they had noticed but were choosing not to point it out just as she was. When the man threatened the lives of the others, the Queen's head snapped up and there was determination on her face. It was a look she knew all too well. One she's worn many times before. Amy knew with absolute certainty she wasn't going to like whatever it was she was about to say.

"Take me to them, now."

_Yep, didn't like it._

Not because she wouldn't have made the same decision herself, she would've, but because she knew the Doctor wasn't going to be pleased about it. But, it was Nefertiti's choice. So Amy commanded the computer take them to where the others were. The first thing she did was look at the unknown woman curiously. The monitor had only showed the back of her. Now she had a full view of her face. She was pretty; looked to be a bit younger than Amy's own age. Unfortunately there was no time for introductions. Things began happening right away.

The Doctor tried to convince Nefertiti to give him a chance to handle things. She declined. Riddell tried to intervene, play hero of the day. That failed. At least she thought it did until his arm swung behind his back and he gave a 'thumbs up' then began counting with his fingers. Amy frowned at the sight. Was he expecting her to do something at the count of three? Her question was answered when shots were fired by the blonde woman. The robots go down. So does Riddell. And if it weren't for that very same blonde stepping in, then the old man would've taken the Queen as his prize.

And instead of saying thank you, Nefertiti chose to reprimand the woman. But the Queen was quickly put in her place; much to Amy's amusement. She liked her. And apparently now so did Riddell. She could see the interest in his eyes. The same one he had been giving Nefertiti. Amy snorted. _Typical chauvinistic male. _Then the Doctor jumped in and quickly pulled the blonde away from Riddell. That move spoke volumes. It showed jealousy. Cupping her cheek said a hell of a lot more. Amy didn't like it, not one bit.

She imagined River wouldn't either.

Her name's Rose and so far this was what she's learned about her. She wasn't afraid to stand up to the Doctor. She wasn't easily intimidated. She had a sense of humor. _Indiana Jones. _Amy silently snickered at the name she was inwardly calling Riddell. And she believed she was abandoned by the Doctor. Something she refused to believe until she got the full story from both sides. Other than the obvious history Rose had with her Raggedy Doctor; that was all Amy knew about her. That just wouldn't do.

_I'm not gonna lose the woman I love, not again._

Amy was completely taken aback by that. Unprepared for it. She was much too preoccupied by the nerve of the Doctor forbidding Rose from doing anything and waiting for the woman to snap like she knew she wanted to. Judging by the look that was on her face and the clenched fists at her sides it was safe to assume the Doctor was extremely close to getting slapped. Not like he wasn't used to that happening. And it might've happened had he not pulled Rose against him, something Amy was uncomfortable witnessing, and uttered those words. That one damn sentence.

Did the Doctor just really declare his love to another woman? One who wasn't his wife? And in front of the parents to said wife? It seemed Rose was just as shocked by them as Amy was. The woman was just standing there, her mouth opening and closing, obviously struggling with what to say. She could see the panic Rose was feeling, could sense how all the woman wanted to do was turn and flee. And for some reason Amy found she wanted to help her. Despite knowing what just transpired was going to break her daughter's heart.

So she spurred forward and stepped in.

"Doctor," she diverted his attention. "Now isn't the time for this. You have things to do. So maybe you should go and do them, yeah."

He jumped at the sound of her voice. "Right," the Doctor quickly dropped his hands from Rose's body and took a hasty step back. "You're right Pond. Much to do. No time for dilly dallying. Missiles are locked on us. Can't outrun them. We have to save the dinosaurs. So we need to turn this ship around." Amy ignored the rest of whatever the Doctor was muttering as he resumed to doing what needed to be done.

She turned to a still shell shocked Rose. "Hello," she greeted with a smile. "In all this excitement, I hadn't introduced myself." She held her hand out. "I'm Amy Williams."

It took the woman a moment to respond. "Rose Tyler," she returned with a somewhat of a smile.

"I'm Rory's wife."

"Yeah, I figured tha'. He mentioned you were somewhere on the ship." She had a thick cockney accent. So from London, obviously.

"And you're here; aboard this same _abandoned_ ship, why?" Amy couldn't stop herself from inquiring.

Rose chuckled heartily. "No clue. One second I was one place, the next I was 'ere."

"There are so many other questions I have," Amy admitted. "But I know now's not the time so how 'bout I grab that extra gun and you and I go see how Riddell's fairing."

"God, yeah!" Rose exclaimed. She had a feeling she would be eager to step away from the Doctor; who was glaring at Amy right now. She just smiled sweetly at him, grabbed the rifle and steered Rose out of the room. With a turn of her head she stuck her tongue out at the sulking Time Lord.

They were met by a startled Riddell who was on his way back in. "This is a two-man job, was just about to ask for reinforcements," he told them.

"Guess it's a good thing we came to check on you," Amy replied, holding up the gun.

"Can you even handle that?" Amy narrowed her eyes at him.

"Oh, I'm easily worth two men," she immediately replied. "Trust me, I can handle it just fine." Raptors suddenly appeared cutting off whatever remark he was about to come back with. "You can help too, if you like," Amy mocked as she gripped the weapon, and aimed.

"My weapon will only kill them," Rose began, "so I'll act as an extra set of eyes, you two shoot, yeah." She told them as the Raptors edged closer.

"Quickens the blood, doesn't it?" Riddell said, sounding way too pleased by this for her liking. "You know what I want more than anything?" he asked them.

"Lessons in gender politics?" Amy answered. Rose snickered.

"A dinosaur tooth to take home." He shoots a Raptor. "Dinosaurs ahead, ladies at my side, about to be blown up; not sure I've ever been happier."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Shut up and shoot."

In what seemed a choreographed dance, she and Riddell twisted and spun back-to-back as they fired at the approaching dinosaurs. With Rose having their backs and shouting out warnings ahead of time, the three of them were able to accomplish sedating them all. Afterwards Amy stood there staring down at the fallen Raptors, amazed to have the opportunity to see one up close. There were many things she has witnessed while traveling with the Doctor, but she had to admit dinosaurs on a spaceship, by far the coolest.

Once she was sure no more would jump out at them, she handed the weapon to Rose and excused herself to step back inside the control deck room to check on how her boys were doing. Rory and her father-in-law were boasting excitedly about flying the spaceship. Amy watched her husband, enjoying the happiness on his face. It had been awhile since they'd been on an adventure. And here they were. So now Rory's had his fix and was able to share it with his father while she enjoyed a little time with the Doctor.

_I'm not gonna lose the woman I love, not again._

It all would've been perfect if it weren't for Rose and that dreaded sentence the Doctor uttered.

"Ready Ponds," the Time Lord asked with a clap of his hands. He didn't even wait for a response, just began walking towards the door with them trailing behind. As soon as the Doctor saw Rose, he walked right up to her and claimed her right hand. "So the Silurian ship has been saved," he began as they journeyed to the TARDIS, "so have the dinosaurs. I disabled the signal on Solomon's ship and replaced it with the one from the Silurian's. The missiles will now follow his and I can drop off the dinosaurs somewhere safely. Ha!"

Despite how angry she was with the Doctor's openly affection he was displaying with Rose, she couldn't help smile at the pleased grin worn on his face.

"Wha' about Solomon?" Rose asked.

"He's aware of what I've done." Meaning he gave the man a chance. Rose didn't say anything after that. The Doctor then looked over at Amy. "How's the job Pond?"

"I gave it up," Amy answered with a shrug.

"You gave the last one up."

"Yeah, well I can't settle. Every minute, I'm listening out for that stupid TARDIS sound," she admitted.

"Right, so it's my fault now, is it?!"

"I can't _not_ wait for you. Even now. And they're getting longer, the gaps between your visits."

"Are they?"

"I think you're weaning us off you," Amy accused.

"I'm not, I promise. Really promise," he assured, sincerity in his voice. "The others, they're not you," the Doctor trailed off. She didn't miss the guilty glance he shot to his left. Nor did she miss the tightening of Rose's jaw. "But you and Rory, you have lives; each other," the Doctor continued. "I thought that's what we agreed."

"I know. I just worry there'll come a time when you never turn up, that something will have happened to you and I'll still be waiting, never knowing."

"No. Come on, Pond." With his free hand he reached out and touched her shoulder. "You'll be there till the end of me." Amy smiled, relieved by his words and enjoying the moment she was sharing with him. _Oh, how I've missed this._

"Don't do that," Rose snapped, startling them. "Don't lie to 'er Doctor. She deserves better than tha'. All your companions do."

Amy's thoughts reverted back to earlier and how Rose believed she was abandoned. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She hated that. It was the same as doubting the Doctor. And she didn't. He was someone Amy could always count on. Just as Rory was. But she couldn't ignore the sinking feeling that Rose had a reason to be angry with her Raggedy Doctor. And the guilt she'd seen flash several times in his eyes didn't help. All too quickly the moment became uncomfortable.

"Well," she drawled out, trying to make light of it all. "That is his first rule."

Confusion settled on Rose's face. "What're you talkin' 'bout?"

"Rule one. The Doctor lies."

The confused look remained. "Wha'? No it isn't," she disagreed. "Rule one was no wandering off." Amy glared at the Doctor who was avoiding looking at either of them.

"Oh look," the Doctor exclaimed, over doing it on the giddiness. "There's the TARDIS. Rose, you should see what she looks like now. You haven't seen her since… well, since the last time. But she's changed. Had a bit of a problem with the regeneration. It went wrong. Held off too long. There was fire. We were going down. And there I was, clinging on, dangling over the edge. In fact Pond, that was the night…"

"Doctor!" Amy cut him off before he could babble away. She had questions and he was going to give her answers. "We're gonna drop the others off, then you're gonna start talking. Got it!"

At that, Amy stormed off and was the first to board the TARDIS. She headed straight for the captain's seat. With Rory right behind. He sat beside her and wordlessly grabbed her hand. She leaned her head on his shoulder, thankful her wonderful husband sensed she needed his strength. Amy knew she would need plenty of it. Because she had a feeling that whatever she was about to learn about Rose, her time with the Doctor and what exactly their relationship once was would change things irrevocably.

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**Author's Note:** Sorry my fantastic readers, but chapter 9 won't be posted till Monday. Hope you all have a good weekend. Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed.


	9. The Rambling of Thoughts

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. This chapter wasn't the one I intended to post. It was supposed to stay in Amy's POV and continue on where we left off. But something about it was bothering me. Over the weekend it hit me. Rose's thoughts and feelings about the Doctor's confession and of seeing the TARDIS again after so long, it needed to be addressed. So I typed this up over the weekend. This chapter will just be a lot of what's going on in our girl's mind right now. Not much else. But don't worry, in the next one things will begin happening

I really hope this chapter was okay. Over the weekend I've come down with a cold so I'm drugged up on medicine and not at my best right now. Maybe I shouldn't have typed this up while feeling awful but I promised you all a chapter on Monday and I didn't want to break that.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

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**Chapter 9: The Rambling of Thoughts**

For so long the Doctor confessing his love for her was all Rose ever wanted. To hear him acknowledge that there _was_ something there between them. That what she felt for him wasn't completely one sided. It never came. So she came to accept that it was because he didn't feel anything more for her than just friendship. Still, there was a part of her that held on to hope that maybe one day. One that was squashed the day the Doctor abandoned her on Bad Wolf Bay with Jon. Suddenly Rose was left with no choice but to move on.

But she couldn't even do that.

One by one, what little she had in her life was taken away from her until she was left utterly alone. That is until somehow, someway, she was brought back, not only to her own universe but to the Doctor as well. It was a reunion she never thought she'd get again. Yet here they were, back together. Except this time Rose knew better than to expect anything from him. She refused any kind of hope to spark in her heart each time the Doctor grabbed her hand or looked at her as though she was the most important person in his existence. And so far Rose had been holding firm.

_I'm not gonna lose the woman I love, not again._

Until he spoke those words.

With one sentence not only had the Doctor ignited a spark but he also rendered her in a state of shock. Not how she thought she'd react to that long awaited confession. Rose always imagined three hearts filled with happiness, arms entangled around neck and waists and lips pressed together cementing that promise. Instead there was silence and two thoughts that entered her mind. The first was how the words were uttered as they were surrounded by a group of people Rose didn't even know instead of in private as it should've been done.

The second was how unfair timing it was. Sure, the man she loved finally admitted he felt the same way too. But there was nothing that could be done about it. No future for them. How could there be? He had a wife; one he abandoned Rose for. Did he even once consider how River would feel about this declaration of love? Obviously not or the Doctor wouldn't have admitted such a thing to her. So, for the sake of all involved, Rose had to forget she ever heard them. No matter how painful it was.

She was ever so thankful for Amy stepping in and distracting her. And when she suggested they step outside of the room Rose wanted nothing more than to hug the woman. It was exactly what she needed. It didn't matter Raptors were charging at them, they were easily tranquilized and afterwards she felt a bit better. Adrenaline would do that to you. But all too soon the Doctor walked out, grabbed her hand and began leading them away. She wanted to yank her hand from him but didn't want to cause a scene. The two of them had already caused enough of them as it was. Rose didn't ask where they were heading to. She already knew.

Anticipation filled with each step. She doesn't pay attention to the conversations around her. Her main focus is looking out for that blue box. Rose knew she was back in her own universe; the man holding her hand was proof of that, but until she saw the TARDIS only then would she truly feel she had returned. Being beside the Doctor should have been enough but it wasn't. Might be because he regenerated. Rose knew all his incarnations are essentially the same man. Yet, they may have the same memories, regrets and haunts but each one had different personalities, traits, likes and dislikes.

So, no, they weren't the same; not really.

Journeying down the corridors, Rose tried to say nothing. _The others, they're not you. _Except remaining quiet was hard to do. Especially after hearing the Doctor telling Amy she would be there with him till the end of time. It was a lie. And Amy didn't deserve that. Shouldn't have to go through what she, Jack and Sarah Jane had to go through. So she snapped at him, stirring problems between him and Amy, which was not her intention. She regretted doing so immediately. But Rose didn't dwell on it because the Doctor had just pointed his blue box out.

When Rose looked straight ahead she was greeted by the most beautiful sight. There the TARDIS stood, looking like a beacon in her dark filled world. She wanted nothing more than to run up to the ship and greet her. Maybe even thank her because she had a feeling it was her who had something to do with her being back in her universe. It wasn't the Doctor's; that was for sure. Rose bit her lip to stop the tears she felt pooling her eyes. Showing her emotions was the last thing she wanted to do. That could wait until after she was alone.

The melody in her head returned. It was as though the ship was welcoming her home. Sadness crept in at that thought as Rose reminded herself that that wasn't right. The TARDIS hadn't been her home in a very long time and it no longer could be considered it ever again. As if sensing her sadness, the Doctor squeezed her hand. But it only made it worse. She lowered her head to take deep breaths. Somehow Rose had to hold it together. She refused to break down in front the Doctor.

Rose was surprised when Amy snapped her fingers and the TARDIS's door swung open. _When did that happen?_ That could've been useful on many occasions; like when running for your life and not having to wait while wrestling with a key. As nifty a trick that was, Rose wouldn't trade the silver medal hanging on the chain around her neck. That key meant the world to her. Feeling it's warmth against her skin got her through tough times. The Doctor released her hand as soon as they stepped inside. She was grateful for that because she was frozen on spot by the sight of the inside.

It was different.

Everything looked absolutely different.

Yes, the Doctor had mentioned it. But she wasn't expecting this. Gone were the coral struts that Rose used to love running her hands across. The circular cutouts were still decorating the walls but they too weren't the same looking. Nor were the amber and green lights that bathed the entire console room. They were brighter; less gloomy. She was beautiful, Rose couldn't deny that. Absolutely stunning really. But it just served as another reminder of how both the Doctor and the TARDIS were able to move on and she wasn't. A rush of sympathy coursed through her mind; followed by a feeling that everything would be okay.

The emotions did not come from her.

Was it the TARDIS?

She didn't have a chance to ponder on that. Everybody was now inside and staring at her, seeing as she hadn't moved away from the door. When she reached the top of the stairs she noticed another difference. The floor was now glass instead of metal grating. Even the console didn't look the same. Rose sighed as she leaned against the rail of the TARDIS and watched the Doctor dancing around the console. Hearing the ancient grinding sounds of the ship was like music to Rose's ears. She closed her eyes and reveled in the sound. Rose really had missed this all.

The Doctor's laughter caught her attention. She opened her eyes and watched him. He was different. Rose took notice of how he interacted with the others. The way his hands did a lot of fidgeting as he talked and the way he slouched his shoulders forward. Then there were the haunting looks, the ones that always filled his eyes from regrets and thoughts of the Time War; so far she hadn't witnessed those brief glimpses of sorrow she used to while traveling with him. Had they lessened? Was it because he now had a wife who helped him carry that burden? Rose hated how her thoughts continued to go back to her.

Thinking of River Song was the last thing she wanted to do. But Rose couldn't stop herself from wondering what the woman looked like. Was she blonde like her, dark haired or perhaps ginger; a hair color the Doctor always wanted to be? Had they met yet? Were they already married? Most likely. If so then where was she? It was obvious she wasn't here. She should be though. Maybe then it wouldn't be Rose's hand the Doctor was holding. Something she wanted to continue doing for the rest of their days.

_No, enough of this!_ She really needed to stop thinking such thoughts. Sensing her troubled mind, the TARDIS sent a nudge of warmth. It brought a smile to her face. _Thank you old girl._

Seeing and hearing how close the Doctor was to Amy showed her how he had moved on. Rose had mixed emotions about that. On one hand she was pleased to see he wasn't alone. The Doctor needed someone to keep him from falling into that darkness. Yet, on the other hand, it was painful to witness knowing she hadn't been able to do the same. Living a fantastic life with Jon, surrounded by her family was what Rose planned on doing. But the cruelty of fate had stepped in and took them all away before she could have a chance.

Moving on wasn't a luxury when living life on the run, constantly hiding; forever looking over your shoulders. It made trusting anybody hard.

There was a part of her that often wondered if she truly would've been able to live a life with Jon. The man was never the same after the day he followed her out to Bad Wolf Bay. He was a bit cold and distant. It took a few months for him to believe Rose truly had let go of the Doctor and wanted to move on with him. Slowly he dropped that chip on his shoulders and the two began a relationship. It started off with re-cementing their friendship. Then it moved to dates followed by chaste kisses here and there. Things never progressed further. Everything had gone to hell and they were struggling just to survive.

Rose shook her head free from thoughts of the past. The first stop the TARDIS made was to drop Queen Nefertiti off. The woman left without offering her thanks for saving her royal ass or apologizing for the way she berated her for doing so in the first place; though she did give friendly partings to the others. Oh well, good riddance. Next it was John Riddell who kissed her hand before leaving. Rose wished the man well and thanked him for his help. In which he replied it was his pleasure than attempted to convince her to spend a few days with him. The Doctor escorted the man out.

When the TARDIS landed outside the Williams home, Brian was the only one to leave. Rose wasn't surprised by that. She knew Amy wanted answers and she really didn't blame her. It was the same reaction she had when she first met a former companion of the Doctor's. Except Amy was in her shoes, she was in Sarah Jane's and the two of them weren't sniping and bickering at each other. Rory staying behind wasn't a surprise either. Rose knew he remained to support his wife. It didn't matter though. Amy had nothing to worry about. She wasn't planning on staying.

Only the Doctor seemed to have other ideas.

"Where should we head next?" He clasped his hands together in glee. Did he really think she was going to travel with him? "Backwards or forwards?"

Apparently he did.

"Cardiff."

"Cardiff?" The Doctor stared at Rose in bafflement. "Why would you want to go there? It's boring in Cardiff."

"To drop me off with Jack." Rose saw the surprise on his face. Her old friend was always where she intended to go once she found her way back to her own universe.

"No," the Doctor quickly replied.

"It wasn' a question Doctor."

"I'm not taking you to Harkness."

Her anger was swift. "I'm not stayin' here with you."

"Yes you are." The Doctor rushed around the console in angry strides until he was standing in front of her. "Enough of withholding things from me. I want to know how you got back to this universe. Why you still look as you did the last time I saw you. What's made you hate me so much. The TARDIS is not moving till then. So you Rose Tyler are going to tell me everything."

"No, I'm not," Rose answered firmly, despite the shakiness in her voice.

"Yes you are. And you're not going anywhere until you do."

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**Author's Note:** As you just read, not much happened in this chapter but the same can't be said for the next one. Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed.


	10. A Former Companions Story

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. The response for the last chapter was amazing. I honestly didn't think it would be because it was typed up at the last minute. So there I was, drugged on cold medicine and expecting the worse. But was pleasantly surprised. Thank you. You all are FANTASTIC! In this chapter it will be told in Amy's POV. I thought it would be best since she and Rory will be learning some of Rose's history with the Doctor.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

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**Chapter 10: A Former Companions Story**

There were times when Amy wanted nothing more than to throttle the Doctor. This was one of them. As she sat in the captain's chair, watching her best friend practically tower over Rose, the two of them eye-locked in some kind of silent battle, she wondered about the things she just heard. Like, who is Jack Harkness? Why was the Doctor refusing to take Rose to him? What things was the former companion withholding? What did 'back to this universe' mean? Why was Rose so angry with the Doctor? And what was the significance about her looking the same as the last time he saw her.

Did she not age?

Was she not human?

Beside her Amy could sense her husband's curiosity. She also noticed how his hand was settled on her forearm, as though that would be enough to stop her from butting in. Which wasn't what she was going to do. _At least not yet_. So she chose to be patient. The Doctor and Rose were already slipping things out in the heat of their anger. But her silence wouldn't last long though. Not at all. It wasn't in Amy's nature. Sooner or later she was going to ask questions or say something if they didn't. Already she was getting agitated by their lack of verbose. She wondered if it would be sooner than she thought as the silence lagged on.

Then Rose turned her head and stepped away from the Doctor with a resigned sigh. On her face was weariness. It didn't belong on someone as young as her.

"Doctor, just take me to Jack." There was pleading in Rose's voice. She desperately wanted this.

"Why won't you tell me everything?"

"Why?" The Doctor looked baffled by her question. "You wiped your hands of me. I don't need to tell ya' anything."

"That's not what I did."

"Yes it was, but 'S okay Doctor. I accepted it a long time ago."

"But it's not. I gave you a happy ending." The laughter that erupted from Rose was one filled with bitterness and left Amy wondering what had happened to the woman to make her this way.

"Is tha' whatcha really think?"

"You and handy…"

"Don't call him that!" Rose snapped startling them all. "His name was Jonathan Noble; Jon for short," she finished on a softer note.

"I apologize." The Doctor paused then smiled sadly. "Fitting, taking Donna's last name."

"Yes it was," Rose agreed.

There was a short pause of silence. "Was?" the Doctor asked.

"What?"

"You said was not is. Both times." Amy realized he was right, she did, which suggested whoever this man was, he was no longer around. "What's happened to him?"

"So let me make sure I get this straight," Rose began, "you'll take me to Jack if I tell you everything. Is that right?" Amy could see that was the last thing the Doctor wanted to do but he nodded, reluctantly. Surprisingly Rose then turned to face her and Rory.

Was she going to ask them to leave?

Amy wouldn't accept that, so she hoped not. Right now her daughter was foremost on her mind. She could be wrong but she had a feeling that the outcome of whatever happened here would affect River and her marriage to the Doctor. Her daughter loved the Time Lord, had told Amy that regardless of all the bad she'd had to endure, she wouldn't change a thing of their history. But what if she wasn't given a choice? Technically the two were married in an alternate timeline; one that no longer existed. So was it really binding?

"Nineteen years," Rose began as she walked over and leaned against the console in front of her and Rory, "was how old I was when I met the Doctor." A smile filled with fondness formed on her lips. "He looked different then, had a Northern accent. He was all dark-cropped hair, big ears, wore a leather jacket and had these intense blue-gray eyes I'd ever seen. When he looked at me I felt like the most important person in his life. He took me away in his magical blue box and showed me the universe. Traveling with him was all I ever wanted to do."

"I know the feeling," Amy said. A look of understanding passed between the two of them.

"With him I felt safe. Trusted him completely. He thought of my safety above all else and had to remind him that he couldn't always do that. I knew the dangers. I accepted 'em when I begin traveling with him. But regardless, I loved that he thought of me first, ya know. Then came the Game Station and my Doctor disappeared to be replaced by a different looking man."

"He regenerated?" Rory asked.

"Yeah." She beamed with approval. "Glad you know 'bout that 'cos I hadn't a clue. He just went and changed in front of me."

"That must've been a shock." Rory surmised.

"Oh, it was. Suddenly he had a full head of brown hair, brown eyes and a London accent. My first Doctor would've called him a pretty boy." Rose snickered. From behind Amy saw the Doctor nodding his head in agreement, a smile on his face. "This new Doctor was bouncy, happy, flirty and very handsy. But then the Sycorax Invasion happened and I saw that underneath the new changes, he was still the same daft Time Lord."

"No matter what form I take, I'm always me in the end," the Doctor said as he stared at Rose's back.

"But you weren't," she replied without looking at him. "He wasn't," Rose reiterated as she looked at Amy. "This new Doctor pushed me away, kep' me at arm length 'cos he feared how I made him feel. There were times that I thought he wished I wasn' there. Then he abandoned me and my best mate Mickey on a ship three thousand years in the future with no way back."

"He what!" Amy yelped in surprise as the Doctor loudly denied it, "I didn't abandon you."

"My Raggedy Doctor wouldn't do that," Amy defended.

"Maybe he wouldn't abandon you but with me and others he had no problems."

The Doctor huffed in annoyance. "The whole of Versailles was at risk, I had…"

"Course it was, not denying that," Rose interrupted. "He will swear up and down that he did what needed to be done. And that may be true. But I knew that wasn' the whole reason. See, we had run into one of his former companions, Sarah Jane, a lovely woman." Regret flashed across Rose's face. "I acted like a jealous girlfriend, something I regret. The Doctor was over 900 years old. I should've known there were others he traveled with, that I wasn' the first. It was foolish of me to think otherwise. But we both got over it and Sarah Jane finally got the closure she needed from him."

"Closure?" Rory asked. Amy got a bad feeling.

"He dropped her off in Aberdeen," she shook her head, "was suppose to be Croydon. She waited but he never came back."

"You abandoned her?" Amy asked; disappointment in her voice. Her husband grabbed her hand.

The Doctor had his head down; his eyes closed and his shoulders slumped. "He doesn' like to see us age," Rose answered when he didn't. "So I asked him if he was going to do the same to me. And he said, and I quote, 'No, not to you'." Rose looked at her. "Sound familiar?"

_The others, they're not you._

It did, and Amy didn't like that one bit.

"Why are you telling us all of this?" she demanded harshly, not liking the chaos and doubt Rose was creating.

"'Cos I was you once." She glanced at Rory then back at her. "Both of you have the right to know who I am. And 'cos the only way the Doctor's gonna let me leave is when I tell him what he wants to know. But before I do, I wanna tell you two my story leading up to it first."

Amy could understand that. She nodded. "You said he was pushing you away," she urged her to continue.

"After meeting Sarah Jane and confronting the Doctor about her, he almost declared his feelings for me but of course he stopped when he realized what he was 'bout to say. Still, it was there between us and I was filled with quiet happiness." Rose paused and shook her head. "Should've known better; should've known he would do what he could to muck things up. When my ex-boyfriend asked to travel with us the Doctor agreed. Thought him and me would give it another go, ya know."

"But it didn' happen," Rory guessed.

"Nope. So he did the next best thing. He fell for another woman. There I stood knowing what was happening but unable to do anything about it, all the while my ex was gleefully yappin 'I told you so' in my ear. I watched as the Doctor swanned off to save her with no way back. Could've lived the slow path with her."

"I came back Rose," the Doctor's voice was soft.

"But ya didn' know you could when you jumped. If it weren't for her moving the original fireplace you wouldn've come back five and a half hours later." The Doctor said nothing to this, proving what Rose was saying was true. "Then when he does come back he turns back around to bring her aboard." Amy could see how hurtful that was to Rose. "But time moved differently on the other side, when he went back she had already died. And I watched him mourn her. Not once did he ever notice my pain. We never talked 'bout it, just swept it aside like everything else. Continued on as though nothing happened. Thought about leaving him then." She admitted.

The Doctor's eyes widened in surprise. "I had no idea."

"You were too busy mourning over another woman. But I didn't leave and for awhile it was jus' the two of us again, things were good, and then…."

"Torchwood happened," the Doctor finished when she couldn't. "Rose got trapped in a different universe. The breach closed and I couldn't bring her back."

"How did you get trapped?" Rory asked. Rose couldn't seem to answer the question.

The Doctor explained about Canary Wharf. About the Daleks and the Cybermen and how he opened the void to suck them in. Of the time the TARDIS fell into a different universe and how those who've crossed the void were now saturated in it. How anything with it would be sucked in. Amy gasped realizing where this story was headed. And she was right. The Doctor explained how Rose's lever slipped prompting her to sacrifice her hold on the magnetic clamps to reset it. In doing so she slipped too, hurdling towards the void. Her father from the alternate universe appeared and caught her, transporting her back with him with no way back.

"I worked at the Torchwood there," Rose took over, her voice thick with emotions. "Day and night I worked hard to build a dimension cannon that would bring me back. And suddenly I was able to travel between universes but my celebratory was short lived when we realized it was 'cos the breach was weakening again. As I jumped from universe to universe in search of mine, I noticed the stars were disappearing. Something was wrong and I knew I had to get to the Doctor and warn him."

"And she did just that," there was pride in the Doctor's voice. "Rose Tyler; defender of Earth, found her way back to me."

"Then why wasn't she still traveling with you?" Rory asked before Amy could.

"I was shot by a Dalek. Instead of regenerating I used the energy to heal myself then poured the rest of it in my spare hand. I didn't change. My previous self liked that body too much. Wasn't ready to part with it."

"Spare hand?" Amy asked with a raised brow.

"Lost my hand in a duel with the Sycorax leader - I was in my jim-jams. That was quite a story, even found a Satsuma in the dressing gown - anyways, story for another day. Where was I? Ah yes, my hand. So, I was still within the first fifteen hours of my regeneration cycle, had enough residual cellular energy to grow another one."

"Oh wow." Her husband was staring at the hand the Doctor was wiggling.

"So what happened then?" Amy asked, intrigued by this.

"Donna Noble, his companion at the time, touched it, their cells merged, thus the Doctor's meta-crisis was born," Rose answered. "Looked like him, sounded like him but was part Time Lord, part human. Had only one heart."

"So basically he would grow old and die," Rory stated matter-of-factly.

Instantly Amy's posture stiffened, knowing exactly what the Doctor had done. "Oh, tell me you didn' Doctor. Tell me you didn' leave her with him."

"Not just that," Rose began before the Doctor could answer, "but back in the other universe."

"Doctor!" Amy exclaimed in anger. "How could you?"

"Because he could grow old with her, live the one life, the one adventure I couldn't."

Anger filled Rose at that. She spun to face the Doctor and Amy was so very thankful she wasn't him at the moment. "You are a DAMN liar!" The Time Lord's eyes widened and he took a step back. "Jon told me the real reason you abandoned me Doctor."

"There _was_ no other reason Rose," he argued.

"Really? Then tell me this Doctor." Amy felt dread as Rose slowly stalked up to him. "What about your wife?" The Doctor stiffened, his eyes rounding in shock.

Guilt clearly written on his face.

He looked like a man who was just caught with another woman and Amy didn't like that one bit. This was her daughter they were talking about. And based on the Doctor's reaction, it was like he was cheating on Rose and not the other way around. She wanted to step in and say something to protect River. Remind him that his obligation was to his wife and not this former companion of his. But Amy didn't say anything. No matter how much she wanted to. Just sat there clinging to Rory's hand. But then the silence was broken, and it was not by any of the four of them.

"Hello sweetie." Amy groaned.

As if things weren't uncomfortable enough.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed. Chapter 11 will be posted soon.


	11. Avoidance and Confrontations

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. I have to say I enjoyed typing up this chapter.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

* * *

**Chapter 11: Avoidance and Confrontations **

There was no question in Rose's mind who the woman was that had just walked inside the TARDIS. It was painfully obvious by the deer-caught-in-headlight look that appeared on the Time Lord's face. The Doctor's wife. She turned and examined her as she strolled up the stairs to join them by the console. River carried herself with confidence, something Rose used to lack. She was beautiful, _of course she was_, and older looking than what she was expecting. Her hair was interesting. But she had to admit the curls suited the woman. It had flair. It had character.

Rose hated the woman on sight.

It was petty of her to do so. Hating the woman simply because the Doctor chose to love her and not Rose. But she couldn't help how she felt. As far as she knew, River could be a very nice person, someone she could easily get along with. Which would just make things worse. Was it wrong of her to hope the woman was an evil bitch? It really would make hating her so much easier. But of course the Doctor's wife was being very pleasant, offering her a smile that Rose had no choice but to return.

River wore a buttoned-down, olive colored shirt that ended at the hips and snug black trousers with the ends tucked inside a pair of high black boots. Strapped around her right thigh was a brown leather holster with a gun nestled inside. _The Doctor's wife carrying a weapon? _A thigh length black coat completed the outfit. If it were back then, when Rose was still a naïve nineteen year old, there's no doubt she would've felt a bit intimidated by the woman. Just as she was when she tried speaking with Madame De Pompadour. But she was older now.

She wouldn't be intimidated by anybody.

"Ooh," there was intrigue in River's voice, "somebody new." She held her hand out. "Hello. I'm Professor River Song." They shook hands.

"Rose Tyler," she returned.

No flicker of recognition.

She wasn't surprised, but it still hurt.

"Professor?" the Doctor asked, looking somewhat startled by this.

"Problem sweetie?" River responded, looking confused by the Doctor's reaction. "Do we need to bring out the journals and…"

"No, no. Were good," he was quick to interrupt.

Rose didn't understand what that was about. Whatever it was, it had nothing to do with her. She watched as River greeted Amy and Rory. Both at ease with the woman, each giving her hugs and congratulating her on becoming a Professor. Apparently the last time they saw her, she was still just a Doctor. Did that mean she didn't travel with them? How did that work out? Did she just pop in and out at times. It was evident that River made a life for herself; one that didn't involve the Doctor.

She admired the woman for that.

"So what adventure did I miss?" River asked.

"A spaceship with dinosaurs," Rory answered somewhat nervously. He continuously glanced back and forth between the two of them.

"Sounds riveting," she replied then looked at Rose. "And you were there?" River's tone was light but she sensed the curiosity.

"Yeah."

"Rose used to travel with the Doctor," Amy announced. River stiffened.

Confusion then hurt fluttered across her face. "I'm sorry, what?"

"It was a long time ago," Rose assured her.

"And how long did you two travel together?"

"Couple of years." She didn't understand the questions. "Met him in his ninth form, stayed with him after he regenerated into his tenth."

River turned to face the Doctor who was looking everywhere but at any of them. "Is that so?" Her arms crossed. "Why don't I know about her?" The Doctor remained silent. But his wife wasn't giving up. "You've told me about every last one of your companions yet not once had you ever mentioned a Rose Tyler…. why is that sweetie?"

It was like a punch to Rose's gut.

She waited to hear what the Doctor's answer would be. Why he felt the need to share all his other companions with his wife but not her. Was she really that insignificant to him? If anything, this just solidified all that Jon had told her. Rose lowered her head when she felt River's questioning gaze on her. She didn't want the woman to see the pain she felt knowing the adventures, memories, she once shared with the Doctor weren't important enough to him as they were to her.

"'Cos I wasn't important enough," Rose answered with a shrug as though it didn't bother her. When in fact it hurt like hell.

"Or maybe too important," River muttered.

"Trust me, I'm not. He made that very clear."

"Oh sweetie," River began softly, "if you traveled with the Doctor then that means you're important. Don't think for one second you weren't."

Rose hated how nice this woman was being to her. If their roles were reversed she wasn't sure she would've extended the same courtesy.

"It doesn't matter," she told River, wanting nothing more than for this to end. "Look, I'm not here to cause any problems. Just wanna leave but the Doctor won't let me till I've answered his questions so Doctor," she looked straight at him, "if you can just ask 'em so you can take me where I wanna go. After that you and I will never have to see each other again."

The Doctor's head snapped up. "So eager to leave."

"Can you blame me?" she shot back.

"Why're you so angry with me?"

"You know why."

"I didn't abandon you Rose. I could never do that. Not to you."

"But you did."

"No! I left you there with a part of me. Don't you get it? Don't you understand? With him you could live a long happy life surrounded by your family. Have children, grandchildren; the two of you growing old together." The Doctor grabbed hold of both her hands. "That, Rose Tyler, is what I gave you."

Rose snatched her hands away and in a quick move, slapped the Time Lord, hard, across his cheek. The Doctor staggered back against the console, then leaned there, cradling his face, staring at her in shock and disbelief.

"Who the HELL are you to make decisions for me? Who said that was what I wanted, _huh_? Tell me Doctor, did I ask for any of that?"

"Well, no but…"

"Did I ever once hint that I was unhappy with my life traveling with you?"

"You're missing the point…"

"No Doctor. That would be you. You assumed living a slow path was what I wanted."

"That's not…"

"You were too daft to understand that if it wasn't a life with you then it wouldn've meant anything. Just made the choice for me."

"You kissed him Rose," the Doctor yelled.

"Of course I did!" Rose yelled back. "Can you blame me for having a human moment? After all the man with your face and your voice _just_ declared he loved me too, after you refused to say it. The second I realized it was wrong, that he was wrong; you'd already swanned off in the TARDIS. I was left standing there beside a responsibility you left on my shoulders and watch as you and the box I considered _home_," Rose's voice broke with emotion, "disappeared right in front of me. No goodbye. _Nothing_! So don't you _dare_ say you did it for my happiness when we both know you did it to wipe your hands of me."

The Doctor seemed loss at what to say next.

Rose was struggling to rein in her emotions.

"It may have been the wrong thing to do," Amy broke the silence, "but the Doctor was only thinking of your happiness. You have to understand that."

"But it was wrong, plain and simple," Rory added. "I'm sorry, but I understand Rose's anger. What you did was wrong Doctor."

"But his heart was in the right place?" Amy defended.

"Doesn't matter. He took her choice away. And if it had happened to you then you'd be just as angry as Rose is." She didn't try denying it.

Rose appreciated their understanding.

"Thank you both. Really. But my happiness wasn't the real reason he left me behind," Rose told them. "Jon told me what it was and so much more."

"What all has _he_ told you?" the Doctor asked with a scowl.

"He told me about the Library." Immediately the Doctor's body stiffened. He glanced at River then back at her. "He told me that was the day you met River and how she knew your true name. Something she wouldn've known unless she was your wife. Which meant when I came back you knew I couldn't continue traveling with you. So you pawned me off on your clone."

"Everything he told you Rose were lies."

"Were they?"

"Of course they were."

"Why would he do that then? If he was really you as _you_ said he was, then why'd he lie? Go on, tell me."

The Doctor couldn't look Rose in her eyes. "I don't know," he finally answered.

"You don't know," she scoffed. "And you said the two of you were the same man. Just more lies, yeah Doctor." His jaw clenched at that. "Go on then. Ask your questions so I can leave. The sooner, the better."

"Fine." He pushed off the console. "Let's start off with how you got back."

"I heard a melody in my head. It was familiar. Recognized it from the time I looked into the heart of the TARDIS. My body suddenly felt like it was being pulled on by an unseen force. I felt warmth and saw my body was glowing brightly. The sound in my head grew louder and louder till I was on the ground writhing in pain. That's when the tugging sensation became stronger too. It felt like my entire being was being ripped apart. It was too much. I blacked out and woke up in the engine room with you lot."

Rose took a step back when the Doctor approached, ready to scan her with his sonic screwdriver. He wasn't pleased, but he lowered his arm and took several steps back. She took this moment to glance at River because she was wondering why the woman was being so quiet, seeing as the topic the two were arguing on was about her. But the Doctor's wife wasn't even paying them any attention. At least it appeared that way. Her brows were furrowed and she had a faraway look. Rose could she was working hard on trying to figure something out. _But What?_

"Where were you when this happened?" the Doctor asked, forcing Rose to look back at him.

"Darlig Ulv-Stranden." She saw this surprised him.

"Why were you there?" he asked softly.

She shrugged. "Just 'cos."

There was no need to tell the Doctor she had planned on using the Dimension Cannon she managed to get a hold of to come back to her universe. Or, how she also got her hands on a time manipulator after meeting a very drunk Time Agent whose sole intent was to shag her for the night. The Doctor would only rant and rave over the dangers of going back to a time where her past self was just so she could cross the already weakened breach, she wasn't really in the mood to listen to that. Rose knew the dangers. But that no longer mattered. She was here now and if there were any problems she was sure the TARDIS would've alerted him.

"And you were alone?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she answered again. Then sighed, ready to move things along. "These questions are pointless Doctor. We both know how I got back."

"We don't know for sure."

"Don't we?"

"There could be a number of possibilities, variations we hadn't considered Rose."

"TARDIS," interrupted Rose, "Was it you old girl? Was it you who found a way to bring me back?" She closed her eyes when she felt a warm feeling nudging her mind. The word y_es_ flashed across her mind followed by the ship humming in answer. _Thank you, you brilliant old girl! _Rose opened her eyes. "There you go," she told the Doctor who looked like he didn't want to believe it. Because if he did then he would have to face what he was so desperately avoiding.

"Since when could you communicate with her?" _Or maybe not avoiding it after all._

"Wait, I thought only Time Lords or telepaths could communicate with the TARDIS?" Amy stated in confusion.

"She doesn't have two hearts, I checked," Rory declared.

Rose ignored the two, even though, in a roundabout way, they pretty much answered the Doctor's question.

"Just ask me Doctor?" He tried to act as though he didn't know what she was talking about, but Rose knew better. "You've looked into my eyes. So just ask me already." Silence.

_The stubborn git. _

But she was stubborn too and before Rose left here she was going to make damn sure the Doctor knew just all she had to endure when he left her behind in that other universe.

* * *

**Author's Note:** The Tyler slap Rose laid on the Doctor is dedicated to royslady51 who's been itching for me to do that. Hope it was satisfying. In the next chapter we learn more of what has happened to Rose in Pete's World.

Okay readers, this update will have to hold you over until Friday. My cough shows no signs of going anywhere so tomorrow I will be at the Doctor's and then spending the day in bed with whatever medication I'm given.

Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed.


	12. Death Becomes Her

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. This chapter will remain in Rose's POV.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

* * *

**Chapter 12: Death Becomes Her**

"You're really not gonna ask me, are ya?" Rose was amazed by the Doctor's resilience to avoid things. "Okay, how about I tell you about my life after you abandoned me."

"That's not what…"

"I spent weeks," she interrupted, "holed up in my room crying over you." It didn't matter that the Doctor's wife was listening in. Rose wasn't going to hold back on anything. "Then one day I woke up and decided it was time to move on because there was nothing I could do. And it's a good thing because it was then that Jon told me why you really left me there. He was honest with me about everything; about what I did to Jack and that I was the reason you regenerated."

"He shouldn've…"

"Yes he should've. You had no right withholding that from me. I deserved to know I killed you and that Jack was betrayed by two people he trusted the most."

"Oh Rose," the Doctor breathed out softly, "that's why I didn't tell you. I knew it would upset you."

"Of course it was. Didn't mean it gave you the right. But then you telling me the truth would've meant having to go back for Jack after leaving him there, sentencing him to live a long life of wondering how he became the man who couldn't die." Rose angrily blinked back the tears.

"Jack and I have already worked this out," the Doctor told her. "He's forgiven me."

"Well isn't that just peachy for you," Rose replied sarcastically. "But don't think for one second that I've forgiven you Doctor. I don't regret meeting you or any of our adventures because we did a lot of good, the two of us, and I wouldn't trade any of that for the world. But I do regret giving my heart to a _coward_."

"I think that's quite enough," River replied firmly as she strode up to stand beside the Doctor and faced her. "I understand you're upset but you have no…"

"This doesn't concern you," Rose snapped back.

"Obviously it does," she retorted back.

"No, his reason for leaving me behind might've been 'cos of you, but anything before that has nothing to do with you."

"The Doctor is my husband. Anything involving him is my business."

"Well then if you want me to shut up and leave River then I suggest you tell your husband to let me go and I will, gladly."

"No," the Doctor slipped out between clenched teeth. This didn't please River. Not at all if her thunderous expression was any indication. She turned to the Time Lord, most likely ready to voice her displeasure, but he waved her off. So she kept her mouth shut but remained where she stood flashing warning looks Rose's way. She ignored them. "Why do your eyes look older?"

"Finally you ask the right question." Rose smirked. "Well Doctor," she drawled out, "that would be 'cos they're the only thing about me that shows my true age."

"I don't understand." Yes he did. But he didn't want to.

"That question can be answered with two words." Rose leaned closer to him and said, "Bad Wolf."

The Doctor shook his head in denial. "No," he declared as though it were so. "That can't be right. I took it out of you."

"Traces remained behind, lying dormant until till the day I died."

"No!" the Doctor hollered out, then rushed up to Rose and grabbed her face between his hands, pressing his forehead against hers. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no," he chanted over and over with eyes closed.

"I'm 83 years old," she told him, twisting the knife deeper.

He opened his eyes and the two gazed at each other. "I had no idea."

"I know you didn't," Rose returned. "I'm not blaming you. That was my decision. No," she shook her head, "you were going to die. There was no decision to make."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not Doctor. If I had to do it all over again, I would've made the same decision. The universe needs you."

_I needed you._

She wanted to move away, yet at the same time she longed to move in closer, bury herself in his arms where she once believed she belonged. Where she still longed to belong. But she didn't. Rose kept her arms firmly at her side. When his nearness became too much, she cleared her throat then took a step back, moving off to the side. River had taken a couple of steps back herself, to give them space, but Rose could see how much the woman hated this whole situation. It was there in her eyes.

"Died?" Rory asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Yep," she popped the 'p' trying to make light of things.

"I'm sorry, but how are you standing here then?" Amy asked.

"I told you I went to work for Torchwood, yeah?" Both nodded. "My father, Pete, was the Director in charge and I was a field agent. There was this bloke, Sebastian, from another team who was always flirting with me. Couldn't take no for an answer. He knew I was dating Jon, didn't understand why. One night me and Jake, another member of the team I was on and a trusted friend, had just come in from a mission. One that led us in the sewers," she made a face, "headed straight for the showers after filing out the paper work. When I came out and over to my locker, Sebastian was there waiting, he cornered me."

Rose detached herself so that she could tell the rest of her story. "It made me nervous, seeing as how I was just in a towel but I didn't think it would be any different as the other times he made passes at me. At first he was being really persistent, no cause for alarm. But then it changed. It became more." She felt a hand slip into hers. Looking down she saw it was Amy's. "I fought him off, he back handed me pretty hard. Lost my footing and slipped back, my head connecting with the corner of the bench in-between the lockers."

A chorus of gasps followed at that.

"I didn't die instantly. Wished I had because what I went through was the most unimaginable pain ever. At first I didn't feel anything. Just numbness. Then everything inside me burned." Rose clenched her fists. "And the wanker jus' stood there staring down at me in a kind of horror fascination as I screamed out in pain. I remember staring up at him, pleading for his help. Crying that I wasn't ready to die, not yet, not like that. Then it hit me, he was the cause of this. Course he wasn't going to call for help. So I pretty much accepted I was gonna die. And still Sebastian stood there. Didn't understand why he wasn't running away for fear of getting caught. Suddenly I could move my head and then parts of my body. Was about to get up when I noticed it," Rose trailed off.

Snippets of that time flashing in her mind.

"Noticed what?" Amy asked, encouraging her to continue.

"That I was glowing, as though I were regenerating. But I remember thinking 'that's impossible'. I'm not a Time Lord. I'm human; just a stupid ape. Why would I be regenerating?" Rose closed her eyes as she remembered that moment with perfect clarity.

Lying on the ground with nothing but a towel wrapped around her wet body. Blood mated in her tangled hair from the deep gash on the back of her head. At the time she didn't understand what was happening, why her insides felt as though they were burning in a raging fire; didn't know traces of the vortex that still remained inside were changing her.

"Eventually Sebastian came to his senses, turned and tried to run away. He didn't get far though. Jake had just walked in. He was checking on me since normally I don't take that long to shower and meet back up with him. Also Jon had called him. Apparently he had been trying to call me but my phone was still in my bag on silent. It didn't take long for Jake to assess the scene and deduce what had happened. He knew how Sebastian was always coming on to me. Jake knocked the man out then called Jon and Pete. He knew enough about my travels with the Doctor to know calling out for help would be the wrong thing to do. That no good would come from anybody finding out about this."

Rose had been avoiding looking directly at any of them. But soon her gaze sought Rory then Amy's. She felt comfortable with them because it was impersonal. They were just strangers she'd just met. Unlike the Doctor.

"Jake locked the door then sat beside me," she continued on. "Eventually I blacked out. A blessing I tell ya'. When I came to, I was in my bed at my mum and Pete's. At first I was confused, having not remembering how I got there. But then it all rushed back. The first thing I did was run straight to a mirror, so sure I looked different. But nothing had changed. I was still me. This only confused me more. Began to think that maybe I had dreamed the whole damn thing. That is until Pete walked into the room and told me that that wasn't the case. He told me everything happened just as I remembered and that I had nothing to worry about with Sebastian. He had Jake retcon him."

"Retcon?" Rory questioned.

"They are pills, Compound B67, which induces amnesia," she explained.

"What about what he did to you?" Rory asked.

"Got away with it." She shrugged as though it didn't upset her. "Nothing we could do to change that. I tell you though, after that, I kept my guard up around him."

"Still," Amy sympathized, "that's gotta suck."

"Yeah it did. But honestly I was too preoccupied with why I wasn't dead. Not just still alive but every scar I had, completely gone."

"Jon was partly the Doctor," Rory began, "I imagined he ran tests on you."

"He did," Rose confirmed. She was amused how well the man knew the Time Lord.

The Doctor reached out and grasped her hand in his briefly then let go before Rose could pull away. "What were the test results?" he asked her.

"That absorbing the time vortex left traces of Huon particles behind altering my DNA; basically instead of two strands I have three. Human plus was what Jon called it."

"I didn't… I had no…," the Doctor tried to get out. "I'm so sorry Rose." Guilt filled his face.

"Nothing for you to apologize for Doctor. It was me who looked into her heart. And it was me who wanted this." The Doctor looked confused by that. "You forget that the TARDIS looked into me too. Bad Wolf saw my heart's desire. And that was to give you forever; your kind of forever. Because I loved you and didn't want you to be alone ever again."

Awe and shock were the two emotions on the Doctor's face. He stood there, just staring at Rose. When he didn't look away, even when she began fidgeting nervously, she began to feel uncomfortable. She directed her attention to the woman beside him. River was staring at her as well. Except whatever she was feeling was masked well behind a look of indifference. But Rose knew better. She may not be showing it but she knew the Doctor's wife had to be bothered by what she just heard; by her presence in general.

Needing to continue on with her story, Rose decided to forge forward. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Because from this point on things were going to be emotionally rough for her. "We decided to keep this quiet. The only ones who knew about me were Pete, my mum, Jon and Jake. And for awhile everything was okay. I took extra precautions for my safety. But a few months later my team was called out to Royal Hope Hospital. There were unusual readings so we went to investigate."

"You ended up on the moon," the Doctor whispered.

Rose wasn't surprised he knew this. She nodded. "Yeah, Jon told me that was how you met Martha Jones."

Then the Time Lord's eyes widened in horror. "If the same events happened for you then that means…"

"The Judoon found the Plasmavore, with help from my team, except when we made it back down to Earth, the hospital had run out of air. Everybody dead, well…"

"Except for you." Rory finished.

"Yep. Jake had called in sick so luckily he wasn't there. But that also meant he wasn't there to run interference when I began the healing process. No hiding it this time. Torchwood took me in under orders of Roderick McCoy, Pete's second in command. My father fought it tooth and nail, but in the end he lost, not just my freedom but his job as well. He was forced to step down and Roderick took over as Director."

"How long were you imprisoned?" Surprising, it was River who asked. Looking at the Doctor's posture, it was clear she was asking because he couldn't.

"Not that…"

"How long Rose?" The Doctor demanded softly.

It wasn't something she wanted him to know. In fact it was the last thing she wanted to tell him. Rose knew how distraught the Doctor would be when he discovered she'd been imprisoned for almost a year; how much pain he would feel when he heard everything she was forced to endure during that time. The hell she lived with, day in day out. No, telling the Doctor all of this was the last thing Rose wanted to do. But she also knew lying wouldn't work. Not if the TARDIS had anything to do with it.

The old girl was in her head, chiding her for even considering lying. Not only that, but the TARDIS was masking her telepathic link from the Doctor since Rose didn't know how to control it. Rose never learned. There was never a need to. It wasn't like Rose was around any other telepaths. So the truth was going to come out. No escaping that. Better that it came from her then form him seeing the images that constantly played out in her mind.

"A year," she whispered shakily.

Anguish washed over the Doctor's face. And guilt; always guilt. But the sight of tears filling the Doctor's eyes and spilling down his cheeks was very profound. It was something that would stay with Rose, always.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay my lovely readers. I don't know when chapter 13 will be posted. I'm going to shoot for Monday but I can't promise that so don't hold me to it. As many of you are aware, I went to the Doctor's. Found out I've got pneumonia in my right lung. The medicine they have me on has codeine in it so I'm going to be loopy for awhile, Lol. And I've been running fevers. Thankfully this chapter had already been typed up. But the next one still needs to be worked on. So bare with me. Thank you and I apologize.

Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed.


	13. Life as a Prisoner

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. I'm feeling a lot better. Not ready to be completely active but enough to return working on this story. Thank you all for your feel well wishes. They were appreciated. This chapter is still in Rose's POV and what has happened to her family will now be revealed.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

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**Chapter 13: Life as a Prisoner**

"What did they do to you?"

Again, the Doctor was asking a question she wished he wouldn't have. But this time the TARDIS wasn't pushing her to answer. The old girl knew it wasn't something she wanted to discuss. Not with the others in the room. But Rose also knew she had to say something to appease the Doctor. She took a moment and thought how she wanted to answer that.

"The only reason I knew how long I was imprisoned was because Jon told me. It was hard to keep up with time. I spent most of it in blackness and a haze of pain." She paused on that word. "I became very acquainted with pain; for a long time it was all I'd known. Every type. The slow burn, the icy stab, the deep-searing cuts, the electric shocks and the ache of hunger. They tortured me just to see how far my body could go, how much it could take before I began healing. Then they repeated the process all over again; over and over because they could. Because they were fascinated by it."

Rose wrapped her arms across her midsection, trying to hold off the shakes.

"It amused them, hearing me cry out, begging for help – even for death. They liked that my body healed. For them it meant decorating my body differently. Out doing what they did previously." There was so much more she could tell them.

Like how the Torchwood agent who volunteered to guard Rose for the nightshift was not a nice man. Not that any of them were. But him especially. His name was Hale Owens. And he had the cruelest looking eyes she'd ever seen. The man took immense pleasure in doing whatever he wanted with her. It started off with him pulling the hospital gown off her body and jerking off as he stared down at her naked form. Then he began touching her, each time getting bolder and bolder until the one night he decided to take it further. He raped her. And there was nothing Rose could do. Nor she could've done the other nights he continued to do so.

"What about your family?" Amy asked, understanding Rose was ready to move on from this particular subject.

"They were going through their own hell."

"How so?" Rory asked.

"Apparently Torchwood was suspicious of both me and my mum. Had been for some time. Enough to begin investigating us. The original Jackie Tyler," Rose began seeing the confusion on Amy and Rory's face, "from that universe was killed, turned into a Cyberman. And then suddenly my mum arrives and assumes the role and with a full grown daughter too. It aroused suspicion but since Pete was acting Director, there was nothing Roderick could do. Not without proof."

"When you healed that was the proof they needed," Amy guessed.

Rose nodded. "Yeah. My mum was imprisoned too. They assumed she was like me."

"Rose," the Doctor whispered in anguish while the others gasped.

"Except she wasn't. Discovered that when she didn't heal." She looked at Amy, who had risen up from the jump seat and was now standing in front of her. "They killed my mum." Rose didn't pull away when the red head hugged her; nor did she cry. She just accepted the comfort and took strength from it.

"They tested my brother Tony," Rose continued. "But because he was just a little boy, they were gentler with him. And once the tests came back negative they put him in care with another family."

"What about your father?" Rory asked.

"He lost it after they killed my mum. That was twice he lost his wife. So it was understandable he wasn't handling it well. But when they refused to hand Tony back over to him he became enraged; wasn't thinking properly and went after Roderick with a weapon. He was shot down before he could even touch the man. That left Jon and Jake the only two left who could rescue me."

"What took them so long to get you out?" Rory wondered.

"Because of his friendship with us, Torchwood was suspicious of Jake too. But since there was no proof, he decided to act as tough he knew nothing. He knew that was the only way to help rescue me. So he continued working for them."

"Which was smart," River stated. "It meant being kept in the loop with things and doing what he can from the inside." Rose nodded in agreement.

"Why weren't they suspicious of Jon?" Amy asked.

"Oh they were," she answered. "But before he could follow Pete's example, Jake had gotten to him first. Was able to force him to see how waiting and planning was the way to go. With his help, Jon was able to get away and stay in hiding. Together they planned and procured necessities needed for when the time came to break me out."

"Obviously it worked," Rory said. "Seeing as you're standing here."

"It did. Jon and Jake broke me out and then the three of us went on the run."

That was when Jon told her all that happened. Rose wanted to go back and search for Tony, but Jake said that was impossible. That they had left no paper trail behind as to where her brother had been placed and whom with. He had looked and could come up with nothing other than that it was Roderick McCoy himself who was the only one with that information and it wasn't like he was going to share that with any of them no matter how much they threatened the man.

"Being on the run was no life for my brother so I decided to leave him with whoever Torchwood placed him with. Every day I prayed that whoever he was with was a loving family who would take good care of him," Rose said, with tears in her eyes. "I have no pictures of any of them. No reminders of my family. Their mansion was stripped down of every personal affect and burned to ashes," she admitted.

"How long were the three of you on the run?" Rory asked.

"For over a year we survived together. It was tough. But somehow we managed. Then we made a mistake, we just wanted to spend one night in a comfortable bed instead of abandoned buildings or run-down homes so we rented a motel for the night. It wasn't fancy but it was better than a flimsy bed roll on the cold hard floor. When the first night passed with no sign of problems, we decided to stay another night. It was the wrong choice. Greediness we would regret. Torchwood found us. We had to rush out, leaving behind most of our necessities. We hadn't gotten far when they cornered us in a building."

Rose closed her eyes as she remembered what happened next.

"Jake sacrificed himself to help us get away. He misguided them away from where we were at. And for his efforts he was killed." Her eyes flashed in anger. "They didn't even try to take him in. Just shot him down where he stood in a surrender position. From where we were hiding we saw it all. He saved us." Rose was still in awe all that Jake had done to help. "Not even four months later they caught up with us again. This time I had no idea how. Just that they did. Somehow we managed to get away. But it wasn't easy. And it came with a price. Jon," she paused, having difficulties finishing that sentence.

"Rose…" She held her hand up and stopped the Doctor from saying anything else.

"When Torchwood shot at us, some of them had hit Jon. Except I didn't know that. He didn't say anything. The stubborn git was determined to hold off until we had gotten safely away. When I saw his back, saw all the blood," she pressed her lips together and blinked away the tears forming. Her story was almost over and she needed to get the rest of it out. "We spent his final hours saying things we never got to say, envisioning a life we'll never get to live. He apologized for all the mistakes that _you_ made Doctor but I didn't accept it because it wasn't his to make. With his last breathe he told me he loved me."

Visions filled her head of Jon cradled in her arms as she cried, begging him not to go; not to leave her all alone. There was no stopping the tears now. Not even the gentle nudge the TARDIS was sending her was enough to soothe the sorrow in her heart remembering that moment. The fear in Jon's eyes as he died. The way it felt feeling his body give one last shudder, then nothing again. Afterwards she didn't even allow herself time to grieve. Just did what needed to be done, burned his body, so that Torchwood could never get their hands on him.

"The whole time you assumed I was living a happy life, but I wasn't. Instead I was living life on the run; dying more times than I could count. Always alone. Unable to turn to another living soul." Rose pressed her lips together tightly to hold in the sobs that were threatening the surface. "So, there you have it Doctor. Now you know the truth. Can you _please_," she hated the desperation in her voice, "take me to Jack. I'm… I'm so very tired. I just wanna live out my long life with a trusted friend."

No response was made. The Doctor just stood there, his eyes never leaving her face. Rose didn't have the strength to look away. Exhaustion had finally caught up with her, not just from her reunion with the Time Lord she still loved, despite everything he'd done, but also from her life living on the run. She could hear the uncomfortable shifting around from the other three with them; one of them being the Doctor's wife. But that wasn't enough to break the hold her eyes were captured with.

"River, Ponds," the Doctor called out breaking the silence, "sorry, but Rose and I need some time alone." She breathed a sigh of relief when he turned away.

Through her worn-filled eyes, Rose saw Amy wasn't exactly thrilled with being sent away and appeared to have something to say about that but one tug from Rory and a silent conversation between the two had her huffing a little indignantly but nodding in understanding and then following behind her husband.

"Rory," Rose called out, stopping the man before he could leave. "Thank you for tending to me earlier. You were really nice and it's been such a long time since anybody's," she paused, trying to rein in her emotions, "just want you to know I appreciate it."

"It was no problem Rose." He smiled. "I'm a nurse, could never turn away from helping others." He really was a good man.

"Amy," Rose was hesitant when it came to the red-head, "I'm sorry for all of this and if I've upset you." She didn't really know what else to say to the woman but felt the need to say something no matter how miniscule it was.

She nodded then walked up to Rose where she gave her a hug. "Good luck Rose. I'm sorry for all you've had to suffer. I know we don't know each other well but my door is open if you ever want to talk." Amy's face lit up. "Maybe even shop."

That sounded heavenly.

"I'd like that. Especially since I've arrived with nothing but the clothes on my back."

A pen and a piece of paper suddenly appeared. Immediately Amy grabbed the pen, thanking the old girl, and began writing. Once finished she handed the paper over to Rose. "Our address and phone numbers." She accepted the paper in appreciation.

Then husband and wife exited the TARDIS.

That left River and she hadn't a clue what to say to her. Was there anything she could say? Better yet, anything the woman even wanted to hear? In the end, the Doctor decided for her when he walked her to the door. She had a feeling this wouldn't be the last time she would see his wife. Though, why, she didn't know. But until then, she reserved not to say a thing. At the door, the Doctor stopped River from opening it with a touch on her arm. Rose didn't hear what was said, but whatever it was, was brief and brought a flicker of fear to the woman's eyes before she hid it, nodded her head once and exited.

Now it was just the two of them and Rose didn't know what to expect. She felt the TARDIS soothing her, she closed her eyes and welcomed it. When she reopened them, the Doctor had just set the coordinates sending them into the vortex and was currently walking over to her. Wordlessly he took her hand and began leading her to the back.

"There was an incident some time ago. An entity called the House took over the TARDIS while her essence was placed inside this woman, well… long story, will tell it another time. What I'm getting at is when this entity took over, it deleted all the bedrooms."

A door appeared out of nowhere preventing Rose from commenting on how surprised she was that her room was even kept to begin with. With his free hand, the Doctor reached up and traced the shapes and lines decorating the wooden door. She'd seen it enough times to know the writing was Gallifreyan, the only language the TARDIS wouldn't translate. Wordlessly he opened the door and the two walked inside. Through the dimmed lights, Rose saw it was a bedroom. Thinking it was the Doctor's room, the same one he shared with River, she turned ready to flee.

"This isn't my room," the Doctor's words stopped her as if reading her mind. "It's a new room she's just created. A place for nobody but you and me." Slowly he turned Rose around until she was facing him again. "You've had your say Rose Tyler and now it's my turn. But you're exhausted. So first we're going to crawl in our bed and let you get some much needed sleep while I hold you in my arms."

_Our bed._

Rose hated how much she loved the sound of that.

She didn't say anything as the Doctor led Rose to the large bed and sat her down. Dropping to one knee, he bent down and grabbed one leg, placing it on his thigh where he reached under the hem of her jeans, unzipped her boot and pulled it off along with her sock before switching legs and doing the same with the other one. She didn't say anything when he stood up, toeing off his own boots and socks then shrugging out of his coat. Or when he helped Rose back to her feet and slid her leather jacket off. Just watched as he turned the duvet and sheet down.

Nor did she fight it when he swept her up in his arms and situated them in the middle of the bed where they lay on their sides, face to face. Rose just burrowed herself in his chest and began sobbing; releasing all the pent up emotions she'd been holding in for so long.

And as he said he would, the Doctor held Rose, never once letting go. Even as she fell into a deep sleep.

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**Author's Note:** Okay readers, I'm open to suggestions as to what the Gallifreyan words are that the TARDIS has put on the Doctor and Rose's door. I'm having trouble coming up with anything that feels right. So I'm turning to you all for help. It can be one word or more. Though let's not make it too long. And of course whoever comes up with the word/words that feels the best, I will use and give you full credit in the next chapter which will be in the Doctor's POV and won't be posted until Wednesday.

Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed.


	14. She Always Comes Back

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. In this chapter we are now diving into the Doctor's POV. Discover all that's been going through his mind since the moment he first saw Rose. Typing this chapter was a bit of a challenge for me. After all it is the Doctor. But I did it and hope he isn't too OOC.

I want to thank all of you who submitted your ideas on what the Gallifreyan words should read on the door. At the end of this chapter I will give credit to the one whose idea I chose to use. I think it was beautiful and hope my words gave it justice.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

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**Chapter 14: She Always Comes Back**

The Doctor stared down at Rose as she peacefully slept in his arms. With the occasional sighs here and there, not once had she moved. And neither had he. Just held her; time from time tracing her cheek, her lips and running his fingers through her long golden hair. Touching her was something he felt the need to do. To assure himself that this wasn't a dream. That his pink and yellow human was really here. She was. And the Doctor was going to do everything within his power to keep it that way.

Of all the companions that have traveled with him, this precious girl, _no, a woman now_, pressed alongside him stood out above the rest. Rose wasn't the most beautiful of them all or even the cleverest; she had many faults. But none of that mattered. The Doctor loved her and for some reason he never could understand, she returned the sentiment. It was because of her that he was able to find a smidgen of peace from the horrors that came from the Time War. He was an old, bitter, tired broken of a man. Then he met a girl in a shop basement. Somehow Rose healed him.

And now he was going to do the same for her.

When the Doctor left Rose there on that beach with his clone he truly believed she would easily fall in love with the man and the two would live a happy life together. That didn't happen. He thought she was the one thing he did right by. Rose thought otherwise. Now she was broken and so distrustful of him. All because his clone had lied; told her about River and what she would one day be to him. The Doctor wanted to be upset with the man but he couldn't. He understood why Jon did it and he might've done the same if their roles were reversed.

It wasn't done out of maliciousness, no, he lied because he loved Rose and knew she wouldn't have been able to move on. By telling her about River he assured she would let the Doctor go even if it meant her hating him. How was Jon to know that the happy life he envisioned would be anything but? That one day Rose's life would be turned upside down by losing her freedom, her family then Jon himself and would have no choice but to return back to the Doctor. That thought had him reopening his eyes to gaze back down at the sleeping woman in awe. _She found a way back to me._ Something she always did.

Somehow, someway Rose Tyler continued to surprise him.

Lowering his head the Doctor pressed his lips to her forehead, tears spilling at the thought of all Rose had been through. The torture he knew she endured at the hands of Torchwood, the horror of watching the people she loved die in front of her eyes and the loss of her family. For years she had been completely and utterly alone and that, for the Doctor, was what killed him the most. There was nobody by her side unlike him who had Amy, Rory and sometimes River. But Rose had to endure it all not only believing he had abandoned her but also that she was doomed to walk the earth, not of her universe, alone.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured against her skin. "But your back. Your home now."

Seeing her again, after so long, in an engine room resembling the very beach he left her on was surreal. When he regenerated into this body he pushed all memories and thoughts of Rose Tyler into the back of his mind. Not that he'd forgotten her. He never could. But as far as the Doctor was concerned, she was happy, living the one adventure he couldn't. So for the sake of his sanity; something he was slowly losing, he let go and moved on. It was for the best. Never did he imagine he would see her again. Then there she was, appearing from within a familiar golden light.

In his mind he was transported to Satellite Five, watching the TARDIS rematerialize after sending it away. Gasping in shock as the door flung opened revealing Rose in all her Goddess-like splendor. It was horrifying to witness yet utterly beautiful. The same could be said at that moment. As he looked at her every one of their memories, his feelings; everything he had locked away suddenly came flooding back in a rush. It took his breath away and brought him to his knees; in much the same way it did back then when she stood before him shining brightly in the wake of staring into the heart of his beloved ship.

The Doctor was unable to move, even when Rose fell crashing to the ground. He knew with Rory she was in good hands. He just knelt there in the sand, staring, trying to grasp that Rose Tyler had come back; to this universe, to him. In that moment he felt a myriad of emotions. It was overwhelming. He wanted to run. Because surely the second he embraced this happiness, the universe would yank it away from him as it seldom did with anything good in his life. He barely survived letting her go the last time. The Doctor knew he didn't have it in him to let her go again.

His reunion with Rose though was not what he thought it would be.

Whatever he was expecting; it wasn't this broken of a shell woman who tried to run from him; who stared at him through guarded distrusting eyes filled with contempt and wariness. That was not the pink and yellow human he remembered. The one with warm brown eyes that could never hide anything from him. The girl who always flashed him that famous tongue-in-teeth grin; the one she hadn't used as of yet. The Doctor wondered how long it's been since she flashed that particular grin. He also wondered how long it would take to get her to flash it for him once again. The sight of it was always his weakness. That and the feel of her hand in his.

Reaching his arm out to her came natural to him as breathing. He didn't question whether he should or not. Just rushed up to her and held his hand out. It had been ages. And for a brief moment, the Doctor wondered what her skin beneath his fingertips would feel like, worried it would feel differently in this new body; with this new hand. Then without hesitation Rose slipped her hand in his and it felt right. Perfect. The two of them running alongside once again had him feeling giddy. As though it were just yesterday when they last adventured together rather than almost a century.

All the time wasted.

Hours passed and still the Doctor remained beside Rose; refusing to budge. It didn't matter that it wasn't right. At least right now. At this time. There was nothing more important than holding Rose in his arms. Not even his wife. He sighed as he thought of River. The woman he was married to, the one he asked to wait at the Ponds for his return so they could talk. She was an intelligent woman, on some level she had to have an inkling of what it was the Doctor wanted to discuss with her. How could she not? Surely River knew that though he loved her, he wasn't in love with her.

Not the way he was with Rose.

The way he always had been.

The way he'd forever would be.

His Ponds won't be happy with him. River was their daughter. And the two believed their marriage to be a true one. How could he explain to them that the only reason he did it was to keep the universes intact after she altered his fixed death. No, that wasn't entirely true. He had a plan to cheat his death with the use of the Teselecta. The Doctor could've just told her that. To be honest, he married River for two reasons. One, it was expected of him. After all she knew his name. And secondly, out of guilt. She died in place of him.

Marrying River was his way of making it up to her. Giving her some kind of happiness for all the hell she had to endure because of him. Not very romantic. It didn't even take place in an alternate timeline. River knew this. Had to be thinking of it right now as she sat at her parents waiting for him. But what could he really say to her. If provoked or angered, then there's a chance she'd decide not to sacrifice herself at the Library. That couldn't happen. River's timeline must not be interfered. Her life and death was a circular paradox. If she doesn't die then the Doctor will.

It wasn't fair but that's the way that it was. The Doctor would give anything not to have to hurt her. But he deserved happiness too. And that could only be found with one woman. His beautiful Rose. The woman who now had a long life span. The one who was now beginning to show signs of waking up. He pushed all thoughts of River behind him and waited with eagerness for her to fully wake. The Doctor smiled at the adorable noises she was making as she stretched. Her eyes blinked a few times, then a few more before they fluttered open.

Then she smiled and seeing it sped the beating of his hearts.

"Rassilon, you're beautiful," he couldn't help but admit.

"Hello."

"Hello," the Doctor returned.

The two of them lay there, gazing at each other. Oh, how he badly wanted to capture her lips with his own. Kissing her was something the Doctor's always wanted to do. Sure he'd felt her lips before, twice in fact. The first time was in his ninth incarnation, but that was more about taking the vortex out of her. And she didn't even remember. The second time was his tenth incarnation but her mind had been taken over by Cassandra, so it didn't count. Right now, if he leaned forward and gave into temptation it would count because they were the Doctor and Rose Tyler.

But he didn't. It wouldn't be right. Rose believed the worse of him and in her eyes he was a married man. When they shared their first snog; and the Doctor had no doubts they would and a lot more than that, he didn't want it to be tainted by anything. When it happened it would be the beginning for them. No obstacles in their way. The decision was right, but it wasn't easy, especially when she was looking at him like that. He knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that she was still in a half sleep state so he distracted her by offering a different temptation.

"Are you hungry?" The growling of her stomach was answer enough. He smiled in amusement at the sound and the embarrassment that flushed her face.

"Do you wanna see what the TARDIS has to offer or'd you rather stop somewhere for chips?" Rose's eyes lighted up at that. "Chips it is." With reluctance the Doctor removed his arms from around her. "I'm sure the TARDIS has provided you with anything you need if you wanna freshen up."

"Yeah, a shower sounds good." The Doctor couldn't help but envision that and it stirred his body. In a flash, he jumped off the bed so that Rose couldn't feel how much he wanted her.

"Okay, well then," he clapped his hands then rubbed them together nervously, "okay, privacy. I'm sure you want it, so you can get naked – no, sorry, not naked. Undressed is what I meant to say. Though it really is the same thing. Not that you don't know that. You know what, I'll just go and leave, yeah. Let you do what you need to do," he tugged at his bow-tie, feeling it tighten around his neck, "and when you're ready I'll be in the console room. Yeah, okay so." He nodded his head, ignoring the amusement on Rose's face at his babbling and rushed out of their room.

_Their room._

The Doctor liked the sound of that.

Once again he traced his fingertips in amazement across the Gallifreyan words written on the door. It was his nickname, Theta, intertwined with the word Arkytior; the Gallifreyan version of Rose. _How long are you gonna stay with me? _Wrapped around their names was her answer to that long ago asked question; forever. _Theta Arkytior Forever._ It felt right. It gave him hope. That all was not lost between them. It wouldn't be easy. He didn't expect everything to fall into place right away. But at some point it must for the TARDIS to create this room, in particular, this door.

_Sexy,_ he thought out to his beloved ship, _thank you for bringing her back. _The TARDIS replied back with a 'you're welcome' followed by a stern warning; oddly sounding a lot like one Jackie Tyler._ I promise, trust me; I'm never letting her go again. She belongs here, with us._ The ship hummed in agreement.

Under an hour was all it took for Rose to ready herself and join him in the console room. With a few enthusiastic twists, turns and pulls, the Doctor landed at Piccadilly Circus in London, near the same chip shop they visited on their first date. He chose that place because he knew it would remind her of happier times and because he wasn't above using anything he could to his advantage in convincing Rose not to leave him. As that saying goes; desperate times call for desperate measures. Well, the Doctor had a lot of them he was willing to use.

Rose ordered a sandwich along with their order of chips. They sat at a table outside to enjoy the sun that was shining down. The Doctor took a moment to admire how beautiful she looked with her head tilted back; eyes closed, serene look on her face, wearing a simple light blue v-neck under her leather jacket and a pair of dark jeans. She took his breath away. The temptation to kiss her was back. He was thankful they were sitting across from each other so he didn't foolishly give in. They were nowhere near ready for that. The Doctor had to work on gaining her trust again.

While they ate, the Doctor regaled her tales of some of the adventures he had while she was gone to keep the mood light between them. Hearing the sound of her laughter filled him with happiness. He would do anything to hear it over and over again. But all too soon the food was gone and it was time to head back to the TARDIS. Though the Doctor wanted to prolong this carefree moment they'd been having, he knew he couldn't. The walk back was filled with silence. There was plenty he had to say but not out in the open.

Once they were inside the TARDIS he set the course, sending them back into the vortex. Rose stood on the opposite side of the console, staring down at the floor. With a sigh the Doctor walked around until he was standing at her side. Reaching out he grabbed her hand and slowly turned her around till she was now facing him.

"Doctor... nothing's changed." His face fell at Rose's words. Ones she spoke after lowering her head, refusing to look at him. He didn't think she'd changed her mind but a part of him had hoped. "I still want to go to Jack."

"I know you do," the Doctor said. "But there are things you must know first. Things Jon didn't tell you about River."

"I don't care," Rose tried to brush him off.

"River was not the reason I left you behind," the Doctor began, ignoring her. "Yes, when I'd met her she knew my name. She whispered it because I didn't trust her. Here was this woman, this _archeologist_," he uttered the word with disdain, "who knew me yet I didn't know a thing about her." Seeing as Rose was still looking down he grabbed her chin with his free hand and lifted her head up. "But the moment I saw you had returned to me, none of that mattered."

At those words, her hers widened, surprise decorating her face.

"Time is in a flux. It can be unwritten then rewritten," he continued. "That's what I planned on doing. Because it is you I love Rose Tyler." Tears filled her lovely brown eyes. "And if I hadn've gotten shot or Donna hadn't touched that jar then I wouldn've let you go. You'd be right here, at my side. Where I want you to be, always."

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**Author's Note:** My thanks goes out to LadyThetaSigma who not only suggested 'Theta Arkytior Forever' but also at how the names should be intertwined and wrapped around the word forever. Once I read it I fell in love with it.

This chapter was getting too long so since I had to break it into two chapters I decided to end it there =P Bad Me! Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed. Chapter 15 will be posted on Friday.


	15. All the Mistakes Made

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. My apologies for posting this chapter the day after I promised I'd post it. But it's better late than never, right? The chapter will continue to be told in the Doctor's POV. But most of it is a lot of dialogue.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

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**Chapter 15: All the Mistakes Made**

For a few moments Rose didn't respond to his words. His declaration of love. Just stood there gaping at him in a shock like state. The Doctor hoped she believed him, for they were true. Truer than any words he's said in a long time. Saying them was almost freeing. But would Rose believe any of it? It was hard to tell. So he waited. Then Rose shook her head, and he knew she doubted him.

"Doctor…"

"No," he interrupted. "I deserve to have my say before you decide anything." Rose closed her mouth, glared at him but acquiesced with a nod.

There was so much he wanted to tell Rose, say to her. The Doctor did not know where to begin. So many things unsaid, even more misunderstandings between them. How many times had he tried to ignore conversations such as these? How long had he tried to prolong this topic? Too many to count. And all because he was scared. _Forever a coward._ That was what he was. What the Doctor would always be. But now was the time to stop running. If he wanted a chance with Rose then he'd have to face everything he'd been avoiding.

"When exactly I fell in love with you, I can't say for sure," the Doctor began. "Guess it was a lot of the little things that started adding up. I know it began with two words, 'there's me'. Do you remember that day?"

She gave a small smile. "Yeah," Rose answered. "It was our first date."

"We had chips," he added, remembering the time when the two of them visited New, New York. The wind was blowing heavily that day as they sat in grass smelling of apples.

"Things were a bit simpler with us," Rose said. "Back when you were Northern and leather."

"It was," he agreed. "But it was bound to change as things often do. And my feelings for you had grown stronger after regenerating."

"Yeah?" The Doctor nodded. "Why's that?"

"Because I sacrificed my life for you… oh, no, no, no," he chanted softly as fresh tears welled. "I don't regret it." Rose looked unsure. He decided to throw what she said to him earlier back at her. "You were going to die. There was no decision to make."

"Not fair," she whispered, "using my own words against me."

"I've no intention on playing fair. Not when it comes to you Rose Tyler," he forewarned. "To finish what I was saying. When I regenerated you were all that was on my mind. It was almost like my previous self was made just for you. Then for awhile I began hearing my song was going to end. I knew it meant I was going to be dying soon. So when you came back and Jon was born, that was part of why I thought you staying with him was for the best. I didn't want you to go through that; me regenerating. Not again." The Doctor leaned against the console, crossing his arms across his chest. "Part of me feared I'd lose everything that was made especially for you; the London accent, the great thick hair, the pretty boy looks. Especially that. You were always drawn to them."

"But I fell in love with you before you regenerated. When you were all big eared and older."

"I didn't know that though. And why would I? You were still dating Mickey while meeting Adam and Captain Jack."

"That's not fair."

"But it's true." The Doctor gave her a pointed look. "Not saying I hadn't made any mistakes myself. But I wasn't the only one."

"Alright. Yeah, you're right," Rose agreed. "I made plenty of them too." She sighed. "We were both pretty daft back then. I was too scared to tell you how I felt. Fear of rejection. The way I saw it. I was just a stupid boring shop girl with no A-levels. A chav from the estates. What could you possibly see in me? The day we met Jack; the first time we danced. That was when I stopped looking at pretty boys."

"Really, why's that?" the Doctor asked with interest.

"It was the first time you showed interest in me. Or at least I had finally noticed. We flirted about _dancing_," Rose air quoted, "it gave me hope that, well, ya know… that just maybe. Then the Game Station happened. You changed. Became flirty and I don't know. There were times I thought there's something there, yeah, but then you'd do something and," she trailed off with a shrug. "It wasn't till you burnt up a sun to say goodbye that I finally knew you felt the same for me. Didn't matter you didn't finish the words. I knew what you were about to say. It's why I worked so hard to get back to you. But then you left me and Jon told me why and I was forced to accept I was wrong."

"But you weren't," the Doctor argued.

"Say's you. But you could be lying."

The Doctor shook his head. He hated that he was about to hurt Rose by telling her everything Jon had told her were lies. Well, more like truths mixed in with lies. It would sully the memories she had of him. The man didn't deserve that. But he had no choice. Not if he wanted to convince Rose of the truth.

"Did Jon tell you everything that happened on the Library?" He didn't give Rose time to answer that because he already knew the man hadn't. "How Professor River Song died that day?" Her eyes widened in shock. "Did he tell you how it was me who was supposed to die? But it didn't go that way because River knocked me out then handcuff me so that I couldn't stop her."

"No," Rose whispered. "He didn't tell me any of that." Her voice was shaky.

"She died for me, saving many lives in the process, all so that I could continue on."

Rose looked hurt and confused. "I don't understand," she said. "How can she be dead? She was just alive. I mean I know time is all wibbly wobbly, but that… that's just crazy."

"River's timeline is non-linear," the Doctor began explaining. "Basically she goes backwards while the rest of us go forwards." Rose stumbled over to the jump seat. As she seated herself he could see she was trying to piece it all together. Make sense of the whole mess. "That's why we don't travel together. Because we can't. She pops in at unexpected times and I never know what it is she knows. Which is why we keep a journal; it's the only way to keep track with our timelines."

Her brows burrowed even more so. "Sounds confusing."

"It is," the Doctor admitted. "Earlier, when River introduced herself to you as Professor instead of Doctor, I knew her time was coming to an end. One of these days she is going to tell me she and her team will be heading out to the Library and when that day comes then that will be the end for her; the end of her and me."

Suddenly Rose covered her face with both hands and began crying. The Doctor was completely stunned by this. He didn't know what to do. Didn't know what it was that made her cry. Seeing her hunched over, hugging herself, spurred him in action. He rushed over to her and replaced her arms for his own. Apologizing to her over and over; though he'd no idea what it was he was apologizing for. It just seemed the right thing to do. But all Rose seemed to be able to do was shake her head as her hands grasped fist holds of his shirt.

It was awhile before Rose had stopped crying.

A little longer than that before she was calm enough to speak.

"I don't understand," she began, her voice thick with emotions. "Why didn't Jon tell me any of this?" Rose sounded hurt. "Why'd he make it seem like you never…. that you didn't want me. Why'd he do that?"

It made sense now. Why she broke down like that. For over eighty years Rose had believed the worst of the Doctor. Knowing that that wasn't the case had to be hard for her to take in. To accept. Not just that what she always believed was a lie but that it came from a man she loved and trusted. Right now she was much too emotionally to see why Jon had done it. But the Doctor owed it to his clone for all he had done to protect Rose. The hell he had to endure being left behind to live a slow path. It was what the man deserved.

The Doctor seated himself beside her, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers. "Because he loved you so much Rose. It was the only way he knew you would've let go of me and moved on with him."

"But it wasn't right of him to do." Rose shook her head. "It was manipulation. Regardless of what his reasons were." There was nothing the Doctor could say to that. Because it was true. Was he a manipulator too? The fact that he would've done the same said he was.

"But it wasn't done out of maliciousness."

"Doesn't matter. The only person to make decisions of my life is me. Jon had no right. Neither did you. Do you even know what the two of you have done? Do you realize that if you'd been honest then maybe I wouldn't have lost everything? Wouldn't have been tortured, raped, forced to live life on the run."

"Raped," the Doctor said, horrified.

Rose clammed up, realizing what it was she just let slip out. She quickly withdrew her hand from his and jumped to her feet. Deliberately taking several steps away from him until she was now leaning against the console and he was the one sitting. The Doctor just stared at her. Seemingly unable to do anything else. Frozen by the knowledge that the women he loved, was hurt in the most violated of ways.

All because of him.

"I'm sorry," Rose voiced softly. It confused him.

"What're you sorry for?"

"For everything. For the way I've acted since I've been back. All the things I've said. The problems I've created between you and your wife and your companions. More importantly I am so sorry for trying to blame all that happened on you."

"But you're right. If I hadn've…"

"No Doctor. You may be the reason I was in Pete's World. But you're definitely _not_ the one responsible for what decisions those monsters at Torchwood made. So don't you go puttin'em on your shoulders." It wasn't something he was sure he could do. But he would try. For her.

"You have nothing to apologize for Rose. It's me that should be apologizing."

"How 'bout we just let it all go. Move on, yeah?"

He nodded. "I can do that."

"Doctor, have you been in contact with Jack?" Rose asked out of the blue.

"Not much since he lost his team," the Doctor answered honestly. "He no longer resides in Cardiff. I don't even think he lives on Earth anymore. Just uses that vortex manipulator of his to travel around. To track him down the TARDIS would have to try and find him."

"Oh."

"Mickey and Martha may still keep in contact with him. They live in London. Both working for UNIT."

"Martha?" Rose questioned.

"Oh, that's right, you don't know. Good ole' Mickey married Martha Jones."

"What?" A smile beamed on her beautiful face. "I'm glad he met a good woman. That he's happy. He deserved that. What about Sarah Jane? Have you run into her again?"

"I did, a few times as a matter of fact. The last time we met up I ran into another former companion of mine." The Doctor smiled remembering Jo Grant. Well, Jo Jones now. "I haven't seen her since."

"Sounds like it would take some time to find Jack, yeah?" He nodded in agreement. "Then I think I'd like you to take me to Sarah Jane's."

The Doctor wanted to believe with both his hearts that she would stay with him now that things had been cleared up between them. Not that they still didn't have things to work through. But some of it was settled so shouldn't that be enough? The sound of the TARDIS springing to life had him jumping up in surprise. Rose, on the other hand wasn't. She was looking down instead of at him as his ship landed with a soft thud. The Doctor swallowed hard at what that meant. It was her who asked his ship where to take her because she knew he wouldn't.

_Rose is about to leave me._

Frantically he jumped out of his seat and rushed over to her, gripping her hands in his.

"Doctor," Rose started off but seemed unable to say anything else.

"No. Please don't say it," the Doctor pleaded. "Everything's good between us. We've made up and better than ever."

"You're still a married man."

"But I explained…"

"You did," she cut interrupted him. "But I think you're forgetting why River sacrificed herself for you."

"I'm not. I could never," he tried denying.

"Then you know you can't leave her. And my presence isn't fair to her or me."

"Rose." The Doctor stood wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned forward, his forehead pressing against hers. "I can't lose you. Not again."

She sighed. Then her arms lifted and one wrapped around his neck; her fingers stroking through his hair while the other hand settled on his chest, in-between his beating hearts. "Doctor, you have to see that me staying here is wrong. This is what you chose."

"Because I thought it was for the best," he argued.

"Doesn't matter," she replied firmly. "The fact of the matter is you chose to let me go then you moved on." The Doctor stared down at her sadly because that was exactly what he did. "Just because I came back and you found out that the happily ever after you envisioned for me didn' happen doesn't mean you can walk away from obligations you've made."

Rose was right and the Doctor hated that. He hated himself more for allowing fear to get the best of him. Because now he was going to have to watch the woman he loved walk away from him and there was nothing he could do about it. Just because River was now a Professor didn't mean their time would end right away. It could still be many years before she was called on that particular expedition. Tears filled his eyes and down his cheek. But the Doctor didn't want to let her go.

"River would understand," he tried again. Desperate to hold on to her.

"She shouldn't have to," Rose replied as she cupped his cheek. "And I need time myself Doctor. I've been through so much. I need a chance to heal from it all."

"Rose," the Doctor cried out. "Please don't leave me."

Rose began crying with him. "I have to."

"You promised me forever."

"I did," she agreed. "Then we were separated. And when I came back to you, instead of holding onto me you let me go."

The Doctor pulled her against him. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I know you are Doctor."

The two of them remained wrapped in each other's arms. Each holding onto the other tightly. He was a selfish bastard. He wanted to say 'to hell with the universe' and take what he wanted. But Rose was right. This was the choice he made for the both of them. And now because of it, this was his punishment. The Doctor buried his face in her neck and hair, breathing her in, re-familiarizing himself with her scent and committing it to memory. Closing his eyes, he tried to focus on breathing. Willing the pain away.

Slowly Rose began pulling away. The Doctor's grip tightened, unwilling to let her go. He wanted just a few more moments. Understanding that, she didn't protest. Just remained in his arms. And as the time ticked by he knew he couldn't hold on to her any longer. With reluctance, he unwrapped his arms from around her waist and took a step back. But he held onto her hands. Kept them both tucked inside his own.

"Is this really it?" he asked her. The Doctor wanted some kind of assurance that this wasn't it. A promise that one day they'd be reunited.

"I don't know what the future holds for us, mine or yours," Rose began. "But no matter what, I want you to know that I love you Doctor." She pulled her right hand from his and gently cupped his cheek. He leaned against it, the two of them silently crying. "Always have. Always will."

Then she pulled away from him.

And with agony the Doctor watched as the woman he loved walked out the TARDIS door and out of his life.

It felt like his hearts had been ripped from his chest.

All he could feel was numb and complete emptiness.

For once again he had lost Rose Tyler.

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**Author's Note:** Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed. Chapter 16 will be posted soon.


	16. Over a Glass of Wine

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all who have read, reviewed, saved to favorites and are following this story. I appreciate it and hope 'Should I Stay' continues to hold your interest. Can't believe it's almost been a week since I last updated this. But it couldn't be helped. Family emergency, one that is still ongoing. And I still can't quite shake this cough of mine.

Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it!

~Valerie~

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**Chapter 16: Over a Glass of Wine**

The face that greeted her as Rose opened the knock at the door was a complete surprise. Though why it would be, she didn't know. A part of her always believed that one day the two would see each other again.

"Hello River," she greeted the woman.

"Rose," she returned.

"What brings you by?"

"May I come in?" Rose responded by opening the door wider. Once the door was closed and locked she led River to the living room.

"I was just about to pour me a glass of wine. Would you like one?"

"I'd love one, thanks," River replied as she seated herself on the couch.

"Give me a mo, yeah." She was about to walk away when the woman reached out and laid a hand on her forearm, stopping her. "I'm sorry for your loss," she offered sincerely.

Rose's eyes welled.

"Thank you," she returned then walked into the kitchen.

It's been eight years since Rose walked away from the Doctor. The hardest thing she ever had to do. There were several moments when she wanted to give in to one of his many pleadings and remain at the Time Lord's side. But it wouldn't have been right. And wasn't what she needed. So for both their sakes she stayed firm with her decision and left. And she hadn't regretted it once. But not a day had gone by that she hadn't thought of the Doctor. Rose wondered what he was doing and worried if he was okay. Constantly.

When she made plans to return to her own universe, it was always Jack she planned on seeking. After all, who better than him to understand all that she's gone through and what she will continue to go through for however long her life span would be. Now she knew how wrong that choice would have been. With Sarah Jane she found exactly what she needed; both a mother figure and a trusted friend. With her help not only had Rose healed, she also learned how to live again.

In the beginning it was not easy. When Rose knocked on the door at 13 Bannerman Road that morning the TARDIS dropped her off, she was in for a shock by the sight of the woman who answered the door. Sarah Jane Smith was seventy eight years old. She had assumed not much time had passed since the last time the two saw each other. But despite that, their greeting was not filled with the awkwardness Rose assumed it would be. It was warm and friendly. Immediately she found herself revealing all that had happened to her.

She was surprised by how easy it was to open up to the woman. Sarah Jane was sympathetic, attentive and extremely supportive. She invited Rose to stay with her for as long as she wanted. An offer she took her up on. It took her time to adjust to a life of no longer being on the run. For so long looking over her shoulder was her way of life. Not getting close to anybody, always on the move. So staying in one place took some getting used to. Even longer for her to sleep throughout the night.

Those were always the worse times for her. It was when Rose was at her most vulnerable. She had trained herself to listen out for every little noise, every sound. It had helped her many times. Which was why sleeping did not come easy for her at first. On instinct she would react to everything she heard. Thankfully sleep wasn't something she much needed after bad wolf had changed her. She still needed it every night, but just about five hours of it. She'd then wake up feeling fully rested and geared to go.

Days turned into months and months into years. And as Rose became stronger, Sarah Jane only weakened. It wasn't an illness that was getting the best of her friend but age itself. It was then her turn to return the favor and take care of the woman whom she'd grown to love. She often wondered if this was why the TARDIS dropped her off at Sarah Jane's so late in her age. Because the old girl knew how much the two of them needed each other. Whether she meant to or not, Rose was grateful she was there for the woman in the end.

Sarah Jane Smith drew her final breath in her own bed as Rose sat beside her, holding her hand. Her children, Luke and Sky, were in the room as well. On the opposite side. They'd been visiting frequently; both appreciative to her for providing their mother companionship in her final years. But it was her who was the appreciative one for all the times Sarah Jane listened to Rose and counseled her. For all the fond memories and the laughter the two had shared. They would forever remain with her.

It's been almost two weeks since Sarah Jane's funeral. During that time Rose had been contemplating on what she was going to do next. She was still living in the house but she couldn't continue to do so. It now belonged to Luke and when his lease ended at the end of the month he would be moving out of his flat and into the house. Though he welcomed her to remain Rose knew it wasn't something she would do. The place may have been where she lived the past eight years but it wasn't really _her_ home. Nor did it ever feel like one.

With all the money she saved up, Rose had enough to rent a place of her own. But where, was what she didn't know. Should she chance remaining in London a little bit longer? It might not be a good idea. Not with her not aging. So if she decided to leave the UK then where should she settle next? Should she head for the states? Find a way to look for Jack? None of it felt right. But finding her old friend was the most logical step. But she had no way of doing so. And it troubled Rose, because it meant that once again she would be completely alone.

Shaking her head, she pushed all these thoughts back. Right now wasn't the time to think about any of that. River was in the living room waiting for her. And Rose wanted to know why she was here. Grabbing an extra glass, she laid it next the one she had already pulled down for herself. Next she uncorked the bottle and poured generous amounts of wine in their glasses before re-corking the bottle and walking back to the small living room with the glasses in her hands.

Rose handed one over to River, who accepted it with thanks. She then settled herself on the opposite end of the couch; the two angling their bodies so that they were facing one other. With a clink of their glasses, they each took a sip of the wine. Neither said a word. Rose didn't feel compel to break the silence. It was River who had visited unexpected. Obviously the woman had something to say. So she would wait her out.

"Did you know," River finally broke the silence, "that I'm Amy and Rory's daughter?" she asked, shocking the hell out of her. She slowly shook her head in answer. "My real name is Melody Pond, though my father would argue it was Williams," she said. "I was conceived on the TARDIS as it travelled through space-time vortex; which subsequently altered my genetic traits and abilities similar to that of the Doctors."

"So you carry Time Lord DNA," Rose stated with confusion, trying to understand how it is then that the woman ended up, or will end up, dying instead of regenerating. Obviously she'd done so before since she looked much older than her parents.

"Yes," River answered.

Then she began telling Rose all that had happened to her. It was heartbreaking. She could only imagine how hellish that had to have been for the woman. Hearing what she did for the Doctor after almost killing him explained why River would die. She forfeited all of her regenerations to save his life. Rose thought of Amy and Rory. What they must have gone through knowing the childhood friend they grew up with was actually their daughter from the future. They never got to be parents. And River never had the chance to be a child.

"Saying I'm sorry for all you've been through seems so minuscule," Rose said once she had finished. "But I am."

"Despite everything I've been through, I wouldn've changed a second of it." She wasn't surprised. It was the Doctor they were talking about after all. Rose felt the same about her own life with the Time Lord. "That being said," she continued "it doesn't mean I'm going to just stand back and accept being anybody's obligation. I deserve better than that and I didn't appreciate you and the Doctor making a decision like that about me."

"My leaving him was more about needing time to myself than it was about you. Not that you being his wife didn't play a role in it. I'd be lying if I said it didn't. But if it were just about you and not me, yes, I would've still left him 'cos it would've been the right thing until he decided what he wanted to do. And if it were me he'd chosen then Id've returned to him in a heartbeat." Rose took a sip of her wine as her guest stared at her, pondering all she had just heard.

The truth she felt no guilt admitting.

Then River smiled, seemingly satisfied, and nodded her head. "Good."

"What?" Rose was confused by her reaction. She didn't know what kind of reaction to expect, but that sure wasn't it. "Why's that?"

"Because the Doctor needs you. And because I can now go to my death knowing he'll never be alone." Her eyes rounded in surprise. Possibly a bit of shock as well. River smirked in amusement. "Didn't think I figured that out did ya? _Please_, give me more credit than that. It wasn't hard. And it was definitely something I figured out a long time ago, before I even met you." She sighed then lifted her glass and took a sip of her wine. Rose did the same. "What I did learn from you was that it will happen at the Library."

"I'm sorry River. It wasn't my intention to reveal that to you. At the time _I_ wasn't even aware of it."

"I know. I'm not here to accuse you or anything."

"You're here because you said the Doctor needed me. Why's that?"

"That day, after the Doctor asked us to leave the two of you alone, he also asked me to wait for him so we could talk. I'll admit it made me nervous. He didn't return until the next day. But when he did arrive he was a broken man. _Oh_ he tried to hide it. Strolled out the TARDIS with his usual flair, ready to set off on another adventure. But we could all see it. And oh how it hurt, knowing he wasn't in love with me."

"River,"

"No," she stopped her from interrupting. "It's true. He loves me. But that's all. A part of me wanted to just pretend everything was alright and continue on. Couldn't do that. I don't deserve that. And neither does the Doctor. He's lost so much." River took a deep breath then looked right at her. "And now he's just lost my parents."

Rose gasped. "What. No! What happened?"

"Have you come across or ever heard of the Weeping Angels?"

"I've heard of them. Jon told me about his adventure with Martha."

"That's how he lost them. Only there is no way to get them back. My parents are stuck in the 30's." River then proceeded to tell her all that happened on that adventure and why it was impossible for the Doctor to go and bring them back. Tears welled when she heard how there was a gravestone in Manhattan for the both of them. "I can still go and visit them," she flashed Rose her Vortex Manipulator, "from time to time."

"That's good. Next time you see them, will you give them my apologies to Amy for never calling her. I just… I couldn't do it. Didn't want to run into the Doctor. Knew I wasn't strong enough to see him again."

"She knew Rose. But I'll tell her."

"Thanks." Rose smiled then finished off the rest of her wine.

"In a few days I will be heading my team out to the Library," River said softly.

Once again Rose found her eyes widening. She stared at the woman, not knowing what the hell to say. Really, what was there she could. River was knowingly walking to her death. Saying I'm sorry, well, that just didn't seem right. Neither did telling her something like 'you're a strong woman' nor even 'you're doing what you have to do'. So she opted not to say anything at all. But Rose did convey with her eyes her sympathy's because she couldn't stop herself from doing so.

"The Doctor and I haven't been together since you came back," River continued. "Even though we never ended up having that talk, I already knew what he was going to say. But because you left, he found no reason to say any of it. And though it wasn't a surprise, a part of me was angry about it. I confronted him finally one day, forced the topic. Of course he was livid. Told me you left him because of his obligations to me. But I knew that wasn't the complete truth. Still, I dropped it and left. Then we lost my parent's. And he wanted me to travel with him. Something I don't do. And though I wanted to say yes and travel with him for a short while, I didn't. So I left him alone and looked into your time line to find when to approach you."

"The Doctor and alone never go hand in hand," Rose stated with worry for him.

"I know; which is why I'm here. The reason I said no is because it isn't me the Doctor needs. It's you. He loves you Rose and I know you still love him too." Rose didn't dispute that. It was true. "And I love him too much to see him in so much pain. There's nothing I can say or be for him that he needs to help him through this. But there is something I can do. I can take you to him. That is if you'll let me."

There was only one answer to that question. Yes. Rose didn't need any time to think about that. In her heart she always knew she would one day find her way back to the Doctor. She just didn't expect it to be this soon or that it would be his soon to be dead wife who would be the one to take her to him. But she understood why River was doing this. Rose hoped she would've done the same thing if she were in the woman's shoes. All they both wanted was the Doctor's happiness.

But Rose couldn't help but feel guilty. Here she was about to be reunited with the man she loved while River not only is about to lose him but her life as well. It wasn't fair. And there was nothing either of them could do about it. For whatever reason, this was always meant to be for the Professor and Rose could plainly see how she'd accepted that. She didn't need her pity. Or even her sympathy. What she needed was to do this one thing for the man she loved. No matter how much it was breaking her hearts.

With that thought she pushed away any guilt she felt. Instead she gave River a smile. One that clearly showed what Rose's answer was to her question. She looked relieved. Not to mention sad. She decided the woman could use a bit of time to herself. So she excused herself to go and change her clothes. Make herself more presentable. She showed River to the kitchen so she could help herself to another glass of wine and whatever else she may want. Then left her alone.

Upstairs in her room, the first thing Rose did was called Luke and told him of her plans. He wasn't surprised to hear she would be returning back to the Doctor. He said he always knew she one day would. Then he told her his mother left a note for her and where she could find it before wishing her a good night. This surprised her. She wondered why he was only mentioning it to her now. Rose found the small half folded piece of paper in the desk in Sarah Jane's room.

She hadn't been back in the room since the day of her funeral. It was too hard and there really was no reason for her to go in it again. Packing Sarah Jane's belongings wasn't her place to do. That belonged to Luke and Sky. The children she loved. But now that she was in the room, sitting on the bed where she spent her last days on, she found it wasn't so hard after all. If anything her presence felt strongest in here. She could almost feel Sarah Jane's head pressed to the side of hers. Something she often did. So Rose decided to read her note right there.

Unfolding the piece of paper, she read the two lines written in the familiar handwriting.

_I never stopped believing in you and the Doctor. _  
_Run to him. And love each other, always._

With a smile on her face and tears in her eyes, Rose silently promised Sarah Jane she was going to do just that. She now understood the reason why she couldn't decide what it was she wanted to do next, because deep down inside she knew that there was nowhere else for her to go then back to the Doctor's side.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know some of you are probably disappointed that I didn't actually bring Sarah Jane into this. But I never planned on bringing anybody else in then those I'd already had. There is only one final chapter left. It will be posted soon.

Comments, criticisms and suggestions are always welcomed.


	17. My Thanks

**Author's Note:** I am back and ready to begin typing the last chapter to this story. My thanks to all of you who have expressed sympathy and offered condolences to my Grandmother's passing. It has been a very long and tiring month of March for me and my family. Though I am still trying to finish going through the rest of my Grandmothers things with the aid of my Aunt who flew back from California with me and is staying at my place, I know I will have some time in-between to devote to my writing. My goal is to have it posted by sometime next week. So thank you for being so patient and understanding.

You all are awesome!

~Valerie~


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